I was awakened this morning with this whisper “The Feminine is being starved by her daughters”
Before I can delve into that – I have to offer a bit of perspective:
Each person has within them a Yin Energy and a Yang Energy
Most men hold Masculine Essence – this means they are catalyzed from Yang energy – and hold inner Yin as the servant or respondent.
Most women hold Feminine Essence – this means they are catalyzed from Yin energy and hold inner Yang as the servant or respondent.
We live in a culture that seeks for each to be complete and without need for the other- and so men are often encouraged to grow their own Feminine essence and basically starve their masculine; while women are encouraged to grow our own Masculine essence and basically starve our feminine.
In doing this- because we are each starving the space we are actually sourced and nourished from – we both end up depressed, angry, stressed, depleted and confused. If doing this is the way to go – why are we so unhappy? Why does it feel like something is missing? Why isn’t it working?
Effectiveness is the Measure of Truth
The Huna have a principle that “effectiveness is the measure of truth” – this is something my Beloved and I live by. No matter what modalities, ideas, philosophies etc; we come in contact with – even if they sound good and are very popular- at the end of the day we ask “How effective is it?” In this case- our litmus for effectiveness is happy, fulfilled people. The truth is we have more broken hearts, lack of connection, and deep soul-wrenching pain than ever before- this in spite of having more opportunity, technology and wealth than ever before.
Something is wrong.
From the feminine perspective my first sentence said it all. We’re starving our inner feminine. As a woman you are most likely nurtured, fed and sourced by your feminine. While you can have a well developed masculine “seed” inside that you have considered masculine – that’s not what feeds you, energizes you, grounds you or gives you stamina. It’s also more likely that you do not contain . an inner masculine at all – but have some yang energy that you CALL masculine.
While you may have been socialized to operate from that Yang space – not allowing yourself to tap into the sources of your Power- your Feminine – will ultimately deplete you.
I was on a a very popular women’s forum a few days ago. I noticed that there were a ton of threads on business, less on being a mother and even less on being in a romantic relationship. I went to a forum devoted to sexuality and sensuality – there were tons of topics concerning sexual technique – far far less concerning sexual connection. I went to a women’s forum on health- again the same thing. A plethora of information on diagnostic tools, herbal and natural formulae and standardized uses – and very little on self knowledge and how you feel.
I could feel this wound in the core of my being. The Feminine asking –
“Why among my Daughters is there no room for me? Why do they not value me?”
The Feminine has many facets and many places that it is nourished and fed from – I have talked about some here, but the one I want to talk about today is Being Relational.
What does that mean? It means that the Feminine is nourished and nurtured by experiencing the world through relationships. While a woman can operate from a transactional (I give X in exchange for Y) or functional (What is the use of X to me?) model – it will not feed her. Because it’s not feeding her – it often begins to drain her – even if she is unaware of how it is draining her.
As a woman who has very much operated in functional model – attempting to survive for about 20 years of my life- I realized that in order to be fed I had to increase the value I held for the relational. This really challenged me because being relational felt – weak. It felt too emotional. It felt far too vulnerable for me.
And it scared me.
I associated the Relational with being smothering, clingy, needy, manipulative and self referenced. I didn’t realize this was only the dark shadow side of being relational. On the light shadow side it really was being connected, vulnerable, tender, caring – Love.
When I decided to just jump in – things changed in me. I began to approach my experiences from the places of allowing it to hold relevance for me – instead of “this doesn’t matter” (a key component of being relational).
But at the end of the day you find out that contrary to what you thought – those experiences don’t weaken you or break you at all – they help you find your true inner strength – instead of the armor you may have have been using.
Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,
*** This post has been revised from it’s original form for clarity and depth. ***