Sometimes when you love a man the only thing you really need to do is be quiet.
My Beloved was talking to me recently. Transparently he shared what was going on in his process of evolving, changing, remembering. I felt – expanded, still, awe-struck to witness him. I sat still. I said nothing. I felt myself honored to be create the space for him to occupy. Much as I feel when I’m in the presence of the Divine, how I feel when attending a birth – I am profoundly aware that what is occurring here is beyond me, beyond words, beyond my efforts, all I can do is feel the joy of being there.
All I can do is hold a sacred silent space.
This can come as a revelation to us women – we tend to to always talk, soothe, seek to fix. For many of us this is how we show love.
But men – they need different things from us and they don’t always need our words.
This is especially important if you are a woman wanting or involved in a relationship with an actualized, conscious man.
He doesn’t need you to fix him.
He doesn’t need you to make him feel better.
He needs you to stop for a moment – and allow him HIS process- without infusing it with yours.
He needs you to trust that he has his own path and flow and engagement with the Divine that needs to take place.
pressing your relationship with the Divine upon him is no substitute for him cultivating his own.
Get out the way and allow for that.
He needs a woman who knows how to hold space. Holding space is allowing for the silence in words – so that something greater can be birthed in that pause.
A woman who understands that his path is equal to hers, but is altogether different. One who is not full of the common hubris which makes spirit the domain of the feminine only.
Learning to hold space, to honor another’s path without judgement or condescension is an art form. It is easy to taint it with contempt or self-righteousness. It’s easy to dilute the Divine Couple relationship on the altar of the status quo and ego.