I talk a lot about women’s stuff.
Yonis and orgasms, menstruation and hormones amongst other things. And while here on the blog, it’s all out in the open, on a person to person basis it’s my preference to speak about these things in women only spaces.
If I had to sum up why that is my preference I’d call it -The Feminine Mystique.
No, I’m not speaking about the book of the same name- I’m talking about the TRUE Feminine Mystique – the general principle of the Mystery of BEING a woman.
In the days where men and women each had their own sphere, women had things that were uniquely ours- for instance, the Blood mysteries was ours and men respected that and even held it in a sense of awe.
Many times we as modern women do not have mysteries that are passed down to us from our mothers, aunts, grandmothers. When I was a little girl I remember my grandmere telling my mother “We don’t have our mystique any longer- because everything that is part and parcel of being a woman is put out into the world for everyone to see.”
She is so wise my grandmere. And the saddest part?
We mistake this for empowerment.
What I’ve come to understand is that
I sell waistbeads and when women ask me about wearing their waistbeads I tell them that they should be hidden under their clothing. They should only be seen by her mate and herself. Not because using them as a general adornment for the world is “bad” but because holding them as something precious for only her and her Beloved is so incredibly GOOD.
The same can be said of discussions about the Yoni. I’m on a group that is all about appreciating the Yoni. I must say I was surprised and disappointed when there was a huge influx of men joining. I adore men and their unique energy. However, in a group about appreciating our Yoni’s I thought women needed a space where we can discuss those secrets amongst ourselves. Much like men have a sweat lodge (or other lodge) devoted to them – women need spaces where we can talk about the mysteries of our Feminine – while keeping them mysterious.
In order to cultivate your Feminine Mystique you have to cultivate a trait that we don’t speak of often – and that is discretion.
I’m not talking about discretion in the sense of not gossiping (although that’s true too). I’m also not talking about lying or deception. I’m talking about discretion in the sense of not sharing all your intimacies with the general public. Have practices, rituals, processes that you do that you don’t share with the world.
Create a sense of sacredness and holiness around your Femininity.
This is an opportunity to increase the power of your Feminine expression. This is why many of the meditations, and practices I teach in SOFT I don’t discuss in detail outside of the School.
Because they’re Holy. Set apart. Because
as opposed to spilled all over the internet.
It’s been my experience that the creation of the Mystique actually serves our Feminine Heart in ways that are more than the sum of its parts. We are fed and nourished by it.
I want to encourage you to invest in yourself in this way. Some practical ways to apply this:
Commit to not discussing your moontime and your moon practices in mixed company
Wear your waistbeads under your clothing, or low enough on your hips so they are not seen.
Create a sense of privacy around your Yoni egg practices.
When you’re sharing your Mysteries with other women, encourage them to maintain the container by being discreet.
Be aware of what you’re discussing on social media.