Being Naked

I love to be naked.

I sleep naked and attempt to wear the barest minimum of clothing.

I love my naked flesh, the suns kiss touching me.

You would think that someone as comfortable with nudity as I am would be past any lessons of being “naked and not ashamed”

And yet there is always more…

When I’m preparing to do Altar Work I normally have a certain pattern I follow. I bathe and open myself to “hear” what sacred items I should don prior to beginning. Recently while going through this ritual I heard a gentle urging – “Get naked” – I immediately began to comply and then felt a moment of hesitation. I reached for one of my silk sarongs and felt an instant “No” – I paused – dropped it and turned back to the altar thinking “If I can’t be naked before the Divine….then who CAN I be naked with”

And I stepped in front of the Altar – totally naked.

I realized that in all my years of engaging with the Divine consciously – I have never been naked in front of an Altar.

Oh I’ve murmured a meditation, a heartfelt plea or a word of Thankfulness cozied in bed naked – but I was under a blanket and thus still not naked.

When I take my Sacred Baths I’m naked – and yet water offers its own form of being cloaked and covered.

But until a few days ago – I had never been totally naked in that way.

And I felt intensely vulnerable.

Not a vulnerability that says “I’m nothing” – for that is not the sort of relationship I have with the Divine – but a vulnerable that says “I’m fully exposed, fully known “

My AltarWork that day was profound – I wept freely while entreating, requesting, honoring and doing all I Do. I freely flowed from the place of Spirit and back to the more temporal – effortlessly. Once I moved past my initial discomfit – and a fear that I didn’t know I had about in some way offending the Divine by being nude – I was blissfully and joyfully liberated.

Then I saw the following quote when I opened a “Daily OM” –

“There is a freedom in being naked that few enjoy because we have been learned to be embarrassed.”

When I read this I realized that often we have learned to be embarrassed – not only in social situations when we spill a bit of wine or mispronounce a word – but even when with those we love, or- worse yet- with ourselves.

We’ve forgotten the freedom in being exposed and seen without wondering about the critiques of others, without the ever present inner critic telling us to be better or more.

We’ve learned to cover ourselves in lovely things- to wear our degree’s as collars of validation, our occupation or employer as a crown of accomplishment, our financial acumen (real or imagined) as the most luxurious fur coat.

There is a freedom in being naked.

In stripping ourselves of these external trappings and standing before ourselves – naked. Marveling as a child in seeing our toes and navel, feeling sun on our naked emotions, our exposed thoughts, letting a loved one touch and see our essence covered in the skin of our thoughts.

We become regal and noble and all that is wonderful in that vulnerability.

We are Naked… and in this state we are Actualized.


~Originally Posted 1/12/12

Men – Get Off The Irritation-Go-Round!!! (pt 2)

Why Isnt My Listening Face Working

You may not realize it, but she REALLY wants your engagement. Your thoughts, observations, your honest input and feedback. She really wants to hear what you think and she wants it to come from you in your own words. It doesnt matter what it LOOKS like – please understand that even though it seems like she’s mostly interested in filling the space between you with her words, its really YOUR words that are SO needed and necessary at this time.


OK smart guy….if she wants my input, why is she talking so much?

Late Breaking News; Your ‘listening’ face probably doesn’t look INTERESTED or ENGAGED.  Does your ’listening’ face  look like a combination plate of bored with a side order of ‘I don’t get it’?  If so, she will feel like she needs to explain again what she feels the issue is, or give you another example (or 10) or go all the way back to the beginning..and the longer your face looks like that, (along with your keeping most of your energy and thoughts inside your own head) the longer the conversation takes and more frustrated you both get!!  Plus – if your standard M.O. is to be silent and ‘listen’ to her all the time,  she’s probably expecting to carry the conversational load in most discussions. And so it goes.

Strong and silent is hurting your relationship bro. 

Being the strong, silent type isn’t helping your relationship. Despite what you may have heard, believed, seen your Dad or Granddad do –  or maybe you’ve never really thought it through prior to now – consistency in ‘non-communication’ can actually be toxic to the health of your relationship. Even if everything else is going well.

STOP doing these things immediately;

  • living ‘in your head’ while life is going on around you.
  • avoiding sharing your opinions with her.
  • having imaginary conversations in your head where you shame yourself for holding back what you SHOULD have said earlier.
  • believing that your thoughts and observations should be held in reserve for ‘important’ discussions.
  • deciding that ‘there’s no real point in discussing it’ – whatever it is.
  • believing that if you just give in and say okay to whatever, THEN she’ll be happy’.
  • holding “it” in – until you can’t anymore (e.g. you get angry or emotional enough that you are the one that explodes)

Although I started this piece off with the statement that too much listening is overrated, good communication actually involves both giving and receiving – listening and talking on the part of both parties. The problem is that many men believe that OUR part of ‘good communication’ consists mostly of RECEIVING information, thinking intently about that information and deciding what actions to take in the future based upon the information we’ve received. Your taking an automatic RECEIVING position as a default actually contributes to her irritation during a discussion! Its all about the POLARITY between you. The Divine Feminine is in a constant dance with the Sacred Masculine – and just like a dance, when your masculine essence takes a step back…her feminine essence must take a step forward.  This is where it gets interesting – and why your retreating to ‘keep the peace’ doesnt work! When her feminine essence is forced to ‘take that step forward’ in search of your masculine essence and you literally arent there, its exhausting and depleting to her. She’s out of balance…. and it shows through her irritation. Your retreat leaves YOU out of balance as well, which doesnt feel good and contributes to your irritation as well. Her feminine essence NEEDS your masculine essence to step forward, not retreat.

How to ‘step forward’ – and get off the Irritation-Go-Round!!!

You are an awesome Man in SO MANY WAYS – lets face it, you MUST be amazing, because she’s so into you!!!!  In order to have a great relationship, clear communication has to be one of your highest priorities.  Staying ‘in your head’ – e.g., just thinking about whatever she just said without response…is ‘stepping back’. Keeping your thoughts to yourself most of the time is ‘stepping back’. Actively sharing what’s in your noggin with the person you’re in relationship with is letting your masculine essence rise to the challenge and is stepping forward –  and will yield major benefits for both of you…but you have to take the leadership role and DO IT – real talk.  Being a leader is stepping forward. Embracing your strength, being present and being engaged is stepping forward.  Even being vulnerable and sharing what you truly think and believe with her is a form of stepping forward. And you can begin doing all of these things starting today.  You CAN really get off the Irritation-Go-Round forever!!! What’s awesome about this is that you can start right now – there are no complicated forms to fill out, ingredients to mix or batteries to purchase. No salesman will call.  So get started – take some small steps today in the direction you want to go. STEP FORWARD.

Blow her mind;

You Need To Do This TODAY…YOU spontaneously start a conversation!!  It can be about anything you’ve been thinking about . This establishes you as a more active participant in the relationship and is a reversal of the passive, receiving mode most men are in with their women. Dont be passive and receiving !!– YOU are ACTIVE and GIVING, let her receive your thoughts. Watch her reaction! She’s probably VERY interested in what you have to say, which will no doubt please AND inspire you….KEEP TALKING!! Her Divine Feminine wants to dance with your Sacred Masculine – give it a chance!!! If you step forward, she’ll dance with you in harmony – you’ll be shocked, surprized and amazed – and the irritation that has been plaguing your relationship will begin to dissipate like fog in the sunlight.

Now….What if  you didn’t start the conversation?  Not to worry!! use this handy transitional phrase guide to Join the Conversation and begin GIVING your thoughts instead of just receiving and being quiet and thoughtful.  

Say this; ‘Im glad you brought that up – I’ve been doing some thinking about X_____….(and then actually start telling her what you’ve been thinking!)

Other handy phrases;

  • This is what I believe.
  • This is my dream for ________.
  • I’ve been thinking about this.
  • These are my thoughts
  • This is my vision, I really want to ________.
  • I want to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind
  • Got a moment?

Make her your cheerleader!!!

Trust me on this – more communication is always better for your relationship.  Tell HER you’ve been thinking about how the two of you communicate and tell her that you are committed to getting better at the art of conversation.  In fact – use this article as a conversation starter.  Resist the temptation to take this on as a Secret Mission, the fantastic results of which you’ll unveil in some dramatic fashion when you Get Good At It.  Its ESSENTIAL that she’s onboard as your partner in crime here. Why is it important that you do this together?

  • You must change the pattern of her always talking (GIVING) and you always sitting there listening (RECEIVING) – remember POLARITY!!!
  • Getting GOOD at the free exchange of ideas between you sets you up for success – if she feels she knows whats on your heart then she can trust you. Trust means security and feeling secure and safe is at the TOP of the list of Good Things for her. (for many women, not feeling secure is a major contributor to feeling irritated and out-of sorts much of the time)
  • Talking together becomes a source of pleasure instead of something we must engage in when there’s a problem.
  • Trying to effect a major change like this without involving her is sorta like winking in the dark….YOU know what you’re doing, but nobody else does.
  • We almost always resist change – Changing old behavioral patterns and getting off the Irritation-Go-Round is going to feel strange at first for BOTH of you. Doing this together improves your communication.

Give it some time, stay at it. Let me know how its going. Most guys are NOT doing this with the women in their lives – so congratulations for being a visionary and a trailblazer. YOU sir, are a major badass and soon to be the envy of your fantasy football league. You are now taking some major steps toward having the relationship of your dreams!!!!

Be Amazing.


Hey – we are all about helping peeps reclaim the amazingness of their relationships.  If your dance together is jacked up – if we can help you get back in step in as little as 30 minutes we will. Its free. We are good like that. Setup your chat time now.

Strong And Silent Is Hurting Your Relationship


Men – Get OFF the Irritation-Go-Round!!! (pt 1)

I Have No Idea What We Are Talking About MEN – Do you ever feel like the woman in your life is committed to being irritated with you no matter what you do, or don’t do?  Many of us (men and women) have grown up believing that this is just part of How Things Are in relationships.  Its difficult to believe otherwise when these periodic disagreements between you often flare up like spontaneous summer thundershowers, appearing without warning and disappearing just as quickly. Namaste and I have talked with hundreds of couples and many agree with us that this sporadic irritation and disquiet in relationships is an unwanted, undesired guest. It sucks the life and enjoyment out of whatever you happen to be doing and you hate it….but it seems to be unavoidable.

I believe that a major obstacle is the fact that most men are still doing what they saw their grandfathers and their fathers do – when she starts talking, YOUR job is to listen. Right?


Dont LISTEN?  I know – it sounds crazy,  right?  I dont mean you should tune her out or be uninterested in what she’s talking about. The problem is that men have been using a flawed model for interacting with women during a conflict.  This is totally understandable – we’ve had 50 years of mis-information about what women really want from men.  For much of my life whenever the topic of “what Women want” came up in articles or books  – I can remember this theme being repeated over and over and over again;

  • Women want to be listened to.  
  • Women want a man that is really going to LISTEN to them.
  • A woman’s greatest need is to be HEARD!  Yadda, yadda yadda.

Somewhere along the line this notion that women want to be listened to has been grafted onto the masculine DNA. As a result, we men have become a nation…a WORLD OF ‘LISTENERS’ – and one of the unfortunate results of all this ‘listening’ is that HOW WE LISTEN has contributed to the dissatisfaction of millions of women that seem to be perpetually dissatisfied/disappointed with the men in their lives. For no apparent reason that most men can understand. Guys are irritated and frustrated and don’t really understand how their relationships began suffering from a low-grade fever of irritation and what’s worse, they dont know how to make it better.

Here’s a News Flash – Constant Listening is overrated.

Lets take a look at how men end up on the Irritation-Go-Round…

How many times has this happened to you?

  • She’s dissatisfied for some reason about something.
  • She wants to TALK to you about it.
  • Conversation ensues – wait. This isn’t a real conversation at all, even if it starts out sounding like one. Actually, she mostly talks and you (mostly) listen. Things eventually ‘get better’ (as in issue is dropped or resolved) or they don’t (she gets even more dissatisfied/upset/irritated – talks with more intensity/louder/more emotional)
  • At some point you’re admittedly confused – the ‘issue’ has changed.  What she seems to be irritated about NOW probably sounds completely different from what the two of you began discussing .
  • You still don’t say much of anything – meanwhile,  your sense of confusion is slowly growing.
  • Eventually, you feel you have enough data to piece together in your mind ‘what this is all about’. AHA!!!!  I HAZ A COMMENT!!!!!
  • You seize one of her many statements to this point in the discussion and either offer your brilliant solution to the ‘problem’ as you see it, or challenge the validity or accuracy of a specific factoid. (This is often the conversational equivalent of Our Hero cutting the blue wire to defuse the bomb and then watching helplessly as the countdown to detonation actually speeds up…)
  • The intensity of her immediate response to your ‘contribution’ to the discussion leads to some variation of this thought in your head; ‘why didn’t I just keep quiet?’
  • Now you’re irritated as well!
  • At some point the white towel of male conversational surrender will be tossed into the ring; “I don’t even know what we are talking about anymore!”
  • Both parties retreat to neutral corners.
  • Irritation eventually dissipates.
  • Real life ensues…until the next time.
  • Lather, rinse, repeat for the duration of your relationship.

In the Aftermath….The uncomfortable silences…the olive branches of humor or the distraction of some activity or whatever y’all do to dissipate the irritation in the air….sometimes it works, sometimes it bombs miserably and the only thing you can do is hope that a good nights sleep will restore some sense of normal to your relationship.  Sometimes one or both people apologize, which seems to work for a while but you keep wondering why this happens so often…are you just destined to constantly misunderstand each other? You can recall a time when you NEVER seemed to disagree about anything, remember that?…what happened to that time? How can you get it back?

Fear not – you CAN get the magic back…and what’s even better, you can virtually eliminate this dance of irritation from your relationship….forever.



Hey – if you are having communication issues in your relationship – we can help you feel better in as little as 30 minutes. Its free. We are good like that. Click here and lets talk.

Celebrating my Weakness

namaste hospital

Last weekend while walking down the stone stairs that lead to our Quirky House I took a mis-step, causing the dreaded inversion ankle sprain.

And what a sprain it is.

I should say here that we thought it was much much worse than a sprain given the quickness with which is became swollen and the fact that I was not able to put ANY pressure on it.


And my screaming when it first happened. Because, you know – it hurt. A Lot.


A trip to the hospital and some xrays later and we know it’s not broken. Great! I’m in a splint, ordered to rest it as much as possible, keep it elevated and use crutches.

I’ve been in bed mostly since Saturday, causing a bit of cabin fever. Groceries needed buying, school supplies needed getting – so yesterday we went shopping.

We get to the store and my Beloved tells me that I should use one of the motorized carts. I pout. I squirm.

“Those are for the elderly and people with REAL medical issues” I say to Him with big doe eyes that say “don’t make me do this”

“Those are for people who need to sit while shopping” He says back – pulling the cart out and nudging me towards it.

I’m challenged, uncomfortable but I sit in one.

The clerk comes over to unplug it and to tell me how to use it.

I feel embarrassed, awkward. “Why is this bothering me?” I wonder to myself. I tuck the question inside as we wander from aisle to aisle.

As I’m riding around the store I muse about what ‘s been coming up for me lately. Words like Vulnerability and Imperfection, Acceptance and Flexibility.  I’ve been wondering – where can I be more vulnerable – where am I still guarded – still feeling the need to appear “strong” and “perfect”.

I am buzzing down the aisle when it hits me – why being in this little motorized cart in HEB bring me such discomfort.

I feel weak.

Not weak as in I’m going to pass out.

Weak as in – my lack of ability to do everything for myself, without aid or help is impaired. Weak as in “I need help”. Weak in a way I’m definitely not used to feeling.

I look at my gorgeous Beloved  and our son as they walk down the aisles with me, calling me “speed racer” and grabbing items as I call them out from the list. They joke with me and they both handle me gently. Tenderly.  I realize a few things.



  1. It is one thing to ask others to help you when you CAN do it myself – it feels completely different to have to rely on assistance. There is a softening that becomes available in that opportunity if you let it. Soften into it.
  2. Weak comes from a word that means vulnerable.(I know this because I looked it up on my phone while in the store – huzzah for the internet!)  To explore vulnerability is to explore and embrace weakness. Not as something to be overcome, but as a simple facet of being. You’re going to be weak sometimes and it’s okay.
  3. This is a perfect example of powerful surrender- as I ride through the store I surrender to the moment, surrender to my need to be handled gently, to receive assistance – surrender to my external lessening – and find that in that surrender I find something precious. By surrendering to that feeling of weakness, I reclaim those weak spaces internally, reclaiming them as valued.
  4.  I’ve been taught that as a woman to be strong is to be Powerful. That I need to show up in strength 24/7. This is exhausting, depleting, and utterly false. The truth is I need to show up as ME- whatever that me looks like in that moment. Sometimes strong sometimes weak, sometimes in Yes sometimes in No. Sometimes  whole and sometimes broken. It’s all good.

As the lessons fall into place like dominos I smile.  I feel the self-consciousness ebb. I relax into my Beloved caring for me, stop worrying and learn to celebrate my weakness.


Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

namaste signature pink


Believing in YOU

It only takes one person to change things around….with you and I believing, that’s TWO!!! No More Excuses – lets get started building that dream!!!!!

The Ministry Of Sex

This morning my Beloved and I were in bed and the thought occurred “This is Ministry”

Yes – SEX is ministry.

When I looked up the definition of ministry I came to this one that made me stop ” a person or thing through which something is accomplished : agency, instrumentality

WOW – Sex does something.

Not just making babies although that is awesome too.

Sex connects us  – and I’m not talking about only one type of sex. Only the deep mystical tantric sex for instance.

ALL Sex- literally connects us.

It’s accomplishes something.  It is an instrument. Now if you know anything about instruments you know that they are what they are and whether you choose to use them, ignore them, use them to build or destroy, or use them erroneously.

When we’re having sex with someone we’re serving as the vessel of connection. We’re connecting spirits, souls, intention.  We’re connecting pleasure to a person, and bringing pleasure to a person. We the embodiment of the Oneness that we are.

When I connect sexually with my Beloved – I’m bringing my essence to connect with His.  I’m opening up all that I am in my Feminine essence and receiving all that He is in His Masculinity.  My ability to show up fully in that role of acceptance, active receiving of Him and pleasure is creative, connective and fueling. His ability to show up in the role of giving, consciousness and  Focus – active giving of Himself and pleasure is  also creative, connective, powerful and fueling. We create a cyclical  microcosm of all that is.

In my Life Support practice (aka Coaching) I teach my clients how to connect with the power of not only their Feminine Essence but their sexuality.

How sex can be used to help us heal and as a catalyst to transformation in ways that other things can not.

How delicious, pleasurable sex can be had by everyone.

We tend to believe that the Divine is in a building somewhere – when in actuality the Divine is in US. We tend to think of “ministry” as something that priests and preachers do  to help others – but there is a Ministry that has the ability to set free and reconcile in ways that we aren’t even tapping into – that Ministry is sex.

More on this later.

In Laughter, Love, and Lustiness,

namaste signature pink

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:

Just say No to Faux Authenticity!

Authenticity is one of those buzz words we hear a lot about of late.  If you’re in any way involved with Consciousness, Living your best Life,  Law of Attraction, or any other ascension and evolution practice you’re likely pretty  connected to the term.

And as with most terms that show up on our shores, this one has been used so much that it has begun to have a sort of “pressure” associated with it.

Or maybe it’s just me.  But I don’t think so.

What I notice happening is bigger and bigger demands for more and more “authenticity”  – to be more and more authentic.  Is this wrong? Not at all – except that by definition authenticity is specific to the individual.

That means my being authentically me is NOT going to look like you being authentically you!

 Are there some carry overs? Sure – things like honesty, kindness etc; should be par for the course for all of us.

But with the pressure to become more and more authentic comes the feeling- once again that we are not “enough”.

If we don’t share with everyone every minute detail of our life – we’re not being “authentic”, If we’re too happy then it’s not “authentic” it’s becomes a judging zone where we point fingers at one another to determine who is and who is not authentic.

Let’s be honest-  we’re not all Bubbles of  cheerful effervescence – but for some of us that IS our authentic self.

Some of us are:

  • Authentically introverted
  • Authentically private
  • Authentically outspoken
  • Authentically Intense and thoughtful
  • Authentically whimsical
  • Authentically shy
  • Authentically posses a dry sense of humor
  • Authentically dark and raw

We are all called to different audiences, different paths, different ways of being.

There is no one true way that authenticity looks.

And because of this it becomes difficult to recognize when you’re being authentic to you- or are you being authentic to someone else’s path- someone you respect or look up to, someone you admire or love.

So here you go darling- here’s the yummy filled piece of chocolate at the end of the rainbow, the big fat thing I want to share with you –

Authenticity doesn’t require a One True Way of being as you go through the world.

It doesn’t all look the same of sound the same.

The one requirement is Truth.

Think about it for a second. Let it marinate.

An authentic Degas is not the same as an Authentic Monet

An authentic poem by Poe sounds nothing like one by Angelou

Authentic means: True to your own Character, Spirit, and Personality.

Yes being authentic is really and for-true all about being True to your Self. Not your little self but your great-big Self – the self that bursting at the seems to get out there and be expressed.

And it changes, flows, ebbs, transforms as you grow and evolve!

  • Sometimes that Self likes to share and sometimes not – that is okay!

  • Sometimes it wants fun and sometimes serious – and that’s okay!

  • Sometimes it’s profoundly silly and other times whimsically sage-like – and that’s okay!

  • Sometimes it’s an introvert or an extrovert

  • You can be bright and cheery or more intense and reflective  – Or BOTH by turns!

Being authentic is all about truth, all the time – even WITH shame or fear, out loud or while whispering. It’s all okay and it’s all good as long as it’s all TRUE.

It’s time to be fully You – all day all the Time – come on out – I’d love to meet you!

In Laughter, Love, and Lustiness,

namaste signature pink

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:


A Bit of Foolish Wisdom


A Bit of Foolish Wisdom: April 1st – Commonly known as “April Fools Day“. The day when everyone in the country knows its acceptable to play a prank, to be silly, to joke around. It‘s a day of lightheartedness in general of fun and frippery.

Our Inner Fool

The opportunity to be foolish is one we rarely give ourselves permission to partake in. Our Inner Critics are not of a mind to allow us that much exposure – that much vulnerability with ourselves. And yet the transformation of that inner critic into our inner fool would be a welcome one. Historically the Royal Fools of monarchs were not only silly and amusing, but also full of a keen insight. Known to be unbiased and totally honest about whatever was going on – they were depended upon by royalty and were often the most trusted – known to have no ulterior motives or allegiances. What a lovely concept! An inner voice that is amusing, honest, unbiased and trusted. Compare this to the harsh, critical judgments of our inner critics and its easy to see that it‘s time to tap into that inner fool.

Today lets turn our inner Critics into Inner Fools. Let‘s view ourselves less harshly, laugh at our mistakes and honestly admit our “oops“ moments without holding ourselves in contempt for being human. Picture your Inner fool wearing a bright costume and jingle bells (mine is dressed in fuchsia and yellow, with glitter). View the past through the eye of humor and the wisdom of Lessons learned. Today let your inner fool laugh.

Our Outer Fool

The ability to be foolish – the willingness to do so – is an integral part of living a creative life – a life of authentic expression. Such a life requires that at times we walk against the flow of traffic, color outside the lines, dance off beat. Being willing to be foolish is to be open and free without fear or inhibition.

This is the key to living an Authentic Life.To living the life the reflects our Spirit.

If we would allow our Spirit space to breathe, if we would give our dreams wings, if we would exhale and be who we really ARE – we would dare to be vulnerable and foolish.

We live in a culture where we prize viewing things with a jaded eye, where being a cynic is worn as a badge of honor, where disbelief and hardening our of precious hearts and dreams are the norm.

When we decide we are ready to crack open, that we *MUST* live – it requires a sort of foolishness from us.

The birds in the eggs call the one pecking the inside of the shell foolish.

The caterpillars crawling on earth call the one spinning the cocoon foolish.

The rose buds call the unfurling petals foolish.



*Laugh out loud and fully

*Grab a pack of crayons and draw the first thing you think of-Hang it on your refrigerator

*Eat a piece of cotton candy

*Keep a jingle bell in your pocket as a reminder

*Draw on the sidewalk with chalk

*Catch raindrops with your tongue

*Sing the song that‘s in your head out loud and dance to it!

*Let your writing be transparent- leave the typos and missteps

*Finger-paint on canvas

And in the words from “Whole Earth“ catalog…. “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.”


In Laughter, Love, and Lustiness,

namaste signature pink

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:


There Is No Try

Quote: “Do or do not… there is no try.” – Yoda

In Sight: I love the above quote, and yet it can be a hard pill to swallow. We love the word “try”, to move things into an either “do or don’t” situation seems very limiting. And what’s wrong with trying anyway? Isn’t trying good enough? What’s wrong is that to try is to not commit. To “try” is to leave ourselves with room for NOT doing what we have said we will “try” to do. Trying leaves room for failure and for a lack of discipline as well.

Most of us have seen a movie at some point where an athlete is tested to the limits of his/her endurance. Said athlete then wants to give up but somewhere either due to an amazing coach or support system or by sheer force of will the athlete overcomes the hardship and actually does what they set out to do. Why? Because for that person just trying wasn’t good enough.

But those are extreme cases, in typical daily life we use the word try often to indicate that we lack commitment to whatever we said we were going to attempt. “I’ll try to clean my house”, “I’ll try to call”, “I’ll try to be more soft spoken”, “I’ll try to stay within my budget”. what are we really saying?

We’re acknowledging that doing these things are good ideas while still allowing room for *not* doing them, still allowing room for excuses. Why? How does this serve us as we seek to lead better more authentic lives, lives that are the reflection of our Truth and Bliss? The truth is that it doesn’t help us at all.

Often try is a way for us to give the “soft no” – it can be a way of us not having to say no -but being able to indicate our “no” with our actions. Try can be a means of us allowing ourselves to be continually pulled in more directions than we can commit to. “I’ll try to help with the event”, “I’ll try to help out with the PTA meeting”, “I’ll try to help you move”. By saying “Do or do not” we must choose. It requires mindfully deciding on a certain course and eliminating other options. It requires us to become intimate with our own state and not to handle our precious selves arbitrarily.

It forces us to slow down and look at what is truly possible and what is not. This doesn’t have to be limiting in a bad way. We can use these opportunities to take stock and re-evaluate what we’re doing and how we’re using our resources – time, energy, finances etc. If we find that there are many things we desire to “do” but are unable to commit to we can then redistribute things. “Trying” puts this ability outside ourselves, whereas “Do or do not” is a statement of personal responsibility. When we stop “trying” we may find that we have more energy and greater clarity. For we who serve “do or do not” can bring more excellence to our service, and also aid in our commitment to the One we serve in that we must seek Direction *prior* to committing. This can facilitate communication between us.

In “The Four Agreements” the last agreement is “Do your best”, notice that it is not “try your best”. Committing makes it an action. “Trying” keeps it in the realm of a thought. As we take more actions that align with the Lives we desire to live we will find ourselves manifesting that life daily. We create that life. Creation is not trying, creation is doing. Activity: For this week avoid using the word “try”. Keep a journal of opportunities when you wanted to say “try” and if you committed to doing or not doing in those situations. What was the result? If not saying try is very difficult for you use a coin toss! Heads you say “I will, I do” tails you say “I won’t, I do not” rather you find yourself  adhering to the results of the coin toss or not – often making it so tangibly yes or no can be a great too to bringing clarity to if your soul is saying “yes or no” to something.

Questions: What are your observations of this experience? What did you find out about yourself? What impact did it have on others? Is there a difference between try and attempt for you? What is it? What can you begin to “do” an “do not” within the realm of service or surrender?

Affirmations: (use only the ones that resonate as true for you)

I am actively committing to _______________.

Saying no to one thing means saying Yes to something else!

I can do whatever I will to do!

I am doing what I will to do.

In Laughter, Love, and Lustiness,

namaste signature pink

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: