On motherhood- I read recently that women are regretting becoming mothers… But they are so ashamed for it, they don’t tell anyone.
It made me so very sad to read that, but I absolutely understand WHY this is occurring.
1. External Expectations- in our society, we have an unrealistic expectation of what being a parent is. We have defined childhood and made the parents the villains in EVERYONE’S childhood story. Mothers live in a state of fear and are constantly judged. The standard is that they should be self-sacrificing, fiercely protective, and perfect.
2. Internal Expectations- Many mothers carry wounds and unforgiveness towards their own parents and are attempting to “be a better parent than my mom,” which creates internal pressure and a standard that is impossible to live up to. Many mothers also compare themselves and their children to others, creating a vicious spiral of elation fear when they do and depression when they don’t measure up
3. Faux Empowerment – For many mothers being an Empowered Woman looks like doing it all. Because mothering is actually a Full-Time job, having to balance it, another full-time job, “self-care”, relationships, etc; creates a stress filled life with no energy or space for tenderness, gentleness or nurturing. She becomes less Mama and more Manager.
All of which leads to mamas feeling alienated, depressed, insecure and alone. Mama’s are often over-adrenalized and in fight or flight. They are frustrated by a lack of support and fearful when they receive support that one of the support people will do it “wrong” and destroy the perfect childhood they are attempting to create while feeling guilty for it all.
There has to be a better way… And yes there is…
More in the next post!