Values are something that are necessary to discuss in any relationship, but the are absolutely imperative in a blended family.
Most issues between partners in a blended family stem from a difference in Values when it comes to parenting. In the School of Feminine Transformation, one of the Favorite practices is the Values Exercise. Utilizing it specifically in regard to parenting can be a HUGE eye opener.
In blended families there tends to be a deep, hidden concern that the bonus parent is “treating my child differently” or “doesn’t value my baby”. This concern typically lives under the surface hidden from view as an unspoken fear. And yet in times when the bonus parent has a different idea on how to handle the child it comes roaring.
Many of the actions that may trigger this fear, can actually be the result of a difference in Values.
Values aren’t “good” or “bad”, we all have them (there are literally hundreds!) and yet many of us have no idea what they really are.
No – your partner isn’t trying to turn your child into Cinderella – maybe she just has a HIGH value on “Work”.
No – your partner isn’t being mean to your beloved son , maybe he just puts a high value on “Responsibility” or “Respect”.
Once you know you and your partner’s parenting Values you can typically clearly see where they are being expressed and why you’ve had the misunderstandings that you have had. Hint- Most couples have different values in at least 3-4 areas.
1. Values are never “wrong” – The values of your partner must be respected.
2. Values drive actions. Asking how that Value is expressed can make all the difference
3. Your partner’s Values are an important asset to your child’s life – let their values MATTER!
The comfort level you feel with this will depend a great deal on what we cover in the next part, Part 6- LOVE!
I love your face,
Don’t miss the other posts in this series: