This one is HUGE my loves. And it may challenge some.
It is the limiting belief that there is a Conflict between loyalty to one’s children and loyalty to one’s spouse.
This limiting belief arises in the form of “My children come first” or “his children come before me” or “my children come before his” or some variation.
The problem is that this is based on something that is less than beneficial and nearly impossible to create a sustainable relationship with. That is the idea of “his” and “hers”, “mine” and “yours”
Children aren’t like bath towels and toothbrushes my beloveds. If it takes a village to raise children understand that village begins in your own home.
There is no conflict of loyalty because WE’RE all on the same side!
Inserting “whose children come first?” into the relationship is just asking for a problem. for a few reasons. The primary one is that children and partners occupy different roles so making them competitors indicates either you’ve put the child in an adult position they should not be in or the partner is being handled as a child which is also inappropriate.
Consider this my loves- what if you TRUSTED your partner with your child? What if you didn’t feel the need to “put my children first” because the whole family was one cohesive unit?
What if the relationship was built based on what you desire rather than what you fear?
Don’t miss the other posts in this series: