My loves, we all know someone or it may be us who have some sort of horror story in their blended family. Someone whose child got hurt, someone who was raped or molested or mistreated. If we don’t know someone directly then the news and television will make sure we FEEL like we do.
I get it.
The thing is you CAN NOT build on this fear. All this fear does is attract to you that which you fear.
This fear, as well as the anger/judgment we may hold our own parents in (if we were raised in a blended family), or others in, will only separate you from the opportunity for joy and happiness. Hyper-vigilance is not the solution.
What I’ve noticed is that those who have experienced abuse tend to view life through the lens of abuse and feel that being overly concerned about abuse is the way to prevent it.
Those who have been on the receiving end tend to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to make sure that they will not be the villain in their children’s abuse story.
I get it.
Here’s a truth – You have the capacity to choose well.
A loving healthy person is not going to become an abusive step-parent because of opportunity.
ALL Step parents aren’t abusive.
This is a vastly different perspective than the idea that all step parents will abuse if the bio-parent doesn’t prevent it.
Let that sink in my love.
OH, and realize that YOU get to write this story.
All of it.
Don’t miss the other posts in this series: