Lessons in Integral Femininity™ -(this one actually applies to everyone)
There is a huge difference between “asking a question” and “questioning” my loves.
In our modern era we seem to have lost the thread on the distinction between the two and yes my loves, it is this distinction that makes all the difference… Both in how the question is asked and in the response that is received.
Asking a question is a connective type of curiosity that seeks to understand. It stems from an innate faith in the person one is asking and belief and acting in good faith towards the person one is speaking to in seeking to answer. In short, it adds understanding.
Questioning is a statement posited as a question that seeks only to assert a position already held. It stems from an innate doubt – doubt in the person one is asking, and lack of good faith in the integrity, knowledge or truthfulness of the person in seeking to answer. In short, its goal is to undermine.
Asking a question seeks to BUILD and bring together by asking for the assistance of another to fill in gaps in comprehension, knowledge, and understanding.
Questions seek to DISSECT and dismantle by engaging in scrutiny of another’s comprehension, knowledge, and understanding.
In today’s world often questioning is positioned as merely “asking a question” to such a degree that I truly believe that it is beneficial to do a self-check to see which one, one is doing darling…
* Do I believe I already know? Have I already reached a conclusion, even if I’m “willing to be wrong”? (If yes, I’m questioning or interrogating, not asking a question)
* Do I trust the answers I will receive? (If yes I’m asking a question)
* Do I believe this person can give me answers I don’t have? (This is humility, If yes, I’m asking a question)
* Do I hope to change the opinions, perceptions or belief of others with my questions? (If yes I’m questioning)
* Did I begin the question with “But…” (This is generally a sign of questioning)
Some of you may wonder what any of this has to do with Femininity…
Integral Femininity™ is all about our ability to be Whole- a huge aspect of that is learning, to be honest in our communication my loves. As you may be able to see or perhaps you have experienced, it is easy to begin a conversation believing that one just has questions and end up in argument land – with one’s spouse, family, peers and ESPECIALLY online.
Questioning has no ability or desire to connect or reconcile, it only passes judgment. If you find yourself unwilling to ask questions, and only desiring to “question”, that in and of itself is a fabulous place to engage with gentle internal inquiry and self-reflection.
I love your face!