Help versus service.
Attempts to be helpful can hold within them an assumption… That assumption is that the person, in fact, needs your help. That you have something that they do not, you know something they do not, you have insight they do not. “Helping” is an act of seeing the person in a state of lack. It often has the belief that you know what’s best for them.
“Serving” on the other hand is an act of elevation. In order to serve someone, you must see them as equal or even above you. This isn’t a bad thing, they do out-rank you when it comes to knowing what they want for their life. To serve means you give them what they want, not what you want them to have or think they should have. No server at a restaurant serves you the food they want you to have unless you ask them to. Serving requires the removal of ego from the equation to give clearly and cleanly.
Is there never an appropriate time to help? Of course, there is… I’ll write on that later, for now…
When you say “I want to help this person” ask yourself if you’d want to serve them? If you feel some resistance it’s a sign that the help is coming more from ego than truly assisting. Think of this in reference to your partner… How often are you helping instead of serving?
In Laughter, Love, and Lustiness,