This morning I was scrolling through my Facebook Feed, and I noticed something.
I noticed that many of the “Inspirational messages” to women focused on an Idea.
I read it on various pages quotes like:
“A woman should be her own best friend”
“A woman should never forget she doesn’t need someone who doesn’t need her”
“Strong women don’t need a man”
And I realized there is a subtle subtext here, an undercurrent and shadow side of these seemingly positive messages. That subtext is:
To be a strong woman is to do it alone
It’s sad because feeling this sense of urgency and need to NOT connect to others, to try to prove our strength as women by virtue of our ability to do whatever hard thing that needs doing, build whatever needs building, create whatever needs creating all alone, ends up with women who are “doing it” (whatever “it” is) – but who are also depressed, stressed, angry and detached.
Why is that?
Because doing it alone separates us as women from one of our most powerful and feminine forms of strength.
Connect and Collaborate.
To connect and collaborate is an utterly feminine form of Leadership and Business.
It is a fabulously powerful way of moving through the world and creating relationships.
The Feminine is literally fed by, nourished by, strengthened by relationships.
I read something earlier this year – it was an article talking about how women often define themselves by who they are to others (wife, mother, daughter etc;), and how a strong woman doesn’t need that, doesn’t do that. she simply *is*.
At first blush this sounds fabulous. Strong. Empowered.
But upon reflection is actually not entirely true.
The nature of Feminine Strength is Relational not Transactional.
It is this deep wisdom that we bring into the world and we infuse into everything we do.
When we buy into going through the world non-relationally – we are disowning our own Power. The feminine knows there is strength, not weakness in connection. The Feminine understands that collaboration is more than the sum of it’s parts.
Great minds and Leaders in business have known this. Napoleon Hill said
“No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind.”
He understood the Power of the Feminine principle of Collaboration.
What we are being taught in subtle ways is to rely on a Masculine model of strength, and put in a dress. We are taught that in order to really “claim our strength” and “show how capable, strong and powerful we are” we have to actualize strength and power through a masculine lens.
Here’s the thing.
It doesn’t work.
For most women, the Masculine Way of Power is like wearing someone else’s glasses. It’s not that the glasses are intrinsically “bad” or flawed, it’s that they are not beneficial for you because it’s not your prescription.
Oh sure – we can do it. We can all “man up”, learn to not rely on anyone, to not trust anyone and to handle our relationships in a tit-for-tat fashion. All columns of Pros and Cons. We may even learn to do it well. But it doesn’t fulfill us.
And let me be clear here- every women has unique abilities, insights, worth that are hers alone. This is not a message of *not* being in touch with yourself.
Quite the contrary.
This is an invitation to come back to yourself.
Back to your Feminine Essence.
The heart of a woman longs to Love. To experience, dance and flow in various facets of Love. It seeks to relate.
To relate – meaning to “bring back”.
When we are in our Feminine Essence as women – we are able to bring back. This Bringing back causes great shifts – inside of us. In others. In the World.
We bring back in Business – Helping corporations to find their mission and to remember their hearts too, not to become so singularly focused on profits that they forget the “Why” and the “Who”.
We bring back Love- helping others to remember what drew them together, whats important, our connections – we are all one.
We bring back to World- to a state of balance, to a state of interdependence.
And we don’t do this all at our own expense.
Oh no darling, By showing up in this way and valuing this way of showing up – we experience a profound and deep Fulfillment. We are nourished.
And, at the end of the Day isn’t that what life is all about? Operating in ways that are fulfilling and nourishing to the soul?
To do that which fulfills and nourishes – that is what it means to be Feminine and Powerful.
Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,