Female Zombies™: the Feminine Pain Body isn’t what you think it is
I recently read a very well written piece by Gillian Pothier called The Shaming of the Masculine: Weaponized Feminine Pain (you can find it here: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155647770993299&set=a.401667873298.177975.700463298&type=3&theater )
In it she discusses how women are beginning to weaponize their pain and how it should not be done.
“It is a pressure release valve, *at the expense of the masculine* (and their deepest feminine integrity, I would fully suspect) because their own feminine pain body is terribly hurting. They have been disappointed, heartbroken, or a wound has been inadvertently touched or re-opened and instead of BEING WITH THE TRUTH OF THE PAIN, we lash out….lipgloss, hair just so, a cute dress, mile high heels… and READY TO KILL.”
She then goes on to speak about how we need to be with the truth of our pain and that “sometimes it IS easier to weaponize our pain than it is to bear the weight of our archaic feminine heartache”.
I sat with that and with the deep awareness that I’ve come to recognize as occurring when there is a distortion in the collective that desires correction. What came up was that as I enjoyed the piece – it spoke to the symptoms…
Let us speak now to the root cause.
It is a word that is used often… I hear it everywhere … and yet… similar to empathy, and non-repression… the term is used incompletely and this incomplete use causes it to get bigger.
Even if you think you know or understand this concept I encourage you to keep reading…
Pain Body is a term coined by Eckhart Tolle.
According to him:
“The pain-body is my term for the accumulation of old emotional pain that almost all people carry in their energy field. I see it as a semi-autonomous psychic entity. It consists of negative emotions that were not faced, accepted, and then let go in the moment they arose. These negative emotions leave a residue of emotional pain, which is stored in the cells of the body. There is also a collective human pain-body containing the pain suffered by countless human beings throughout history. The pain-body has a dormant stage and an active stage. Periodically it becomes activated, and when it does, it seeks more suffering to feed on. If you are not absolutely present, it takes over your mind and feeds on negative thinking as well as negative experiences such as drama in relationships. This is how it has been perpetuating itself throughout human history. Another way of describing the pain-body is this: the addiction to unhappiness.”
Notice a few things here:
1. ALMOST ALL people carry one… not ALL people.
He does not mention that the pain body delineates itself by gender, race, religion etc;
2. The pain body is basically the addiction to unhappiness (I like this term because it lacks the pretty connotations that the idea of a pain body has become)
3. When it is active it seeks MORE SUFFERING to feed on.
4. When it is active it takes over your mind, feeds on your negative thinking and makes situations outsized to what they really are
In other words… the “pain body” is a learned addiction to unhappiness that is born of old and dead experiences and then ENLIVENED and FED.
Like a Zombie, the addiction to unhappiness arises and is hungry so it feeds on your brain. Your relationships. Any small thing that bothers you it will make into a HUGE THING so that it can stay alive.
It is the distortion of Emotional Ego.
And it never gets full – when it is not dissolved it just goes dormant.
Why is this important to understand?
Because whenever I hear the pain body spoken of in the human development/ self-help/consciousness space – it is treated with the type of compassion one gives to a mistreated aggressive animal.
Yes, it will bite you… but it’s not it’s fault.
Just give it hugs and kisses.
Just understand it.
Just let me process through what this pain body is offering me.
And what seems to be missing… startlingly so… is this
THIS. DOES. NOT. WORK.
Many even identify with it almost like a pet “my pain body…”
As if it is to be coddled, protected, accepted.
This seems to be in total contrast to Mr. Tolle’s suggestion when asked how to ELIMINATE it:
“We release it by cutting the link between the pain-body and our thought processes so that we no longer feed the pain-body with our thinking. Every negative thought has a similar frequency to the pain-body and so feeds it. It cannot feed on positive thoughts. When the pain-body no longer runs the internal dialogue of our compulsive thinking, we become aware of it directly. We feel the emotion in our body, and so we bring awareness to it, the light of consciousness. The old emotion is then transmuted into consciousness in the same way that a fire transmutes everything into itself. So disidentification from the emotion and just being in the now moment is the way to stop the cycle of constantly recreating painful experiences.”
This says it is capable of eliminating… which is something I’ve never heard one person who spends a great deal of time discussing it mention. Like many addicts – many are enamored of their “pain body” and so seek to peacefully co-exist with it. Some even believe that it serves them in some way and so should be seen but not eliminated.
It is also of benefit to know that emotion can only last for 90 seconds. IF YOU FEEL IT. Beyond that, it must be recreated. When you identify with the pain body you keep it alive. When you create identity around pain and unhappiness you keep it alive…
Which brings us to the Feminine Pain Body…
This term has arisen to speak to two things:
1. The idea of a collective feminine heartache born of patriarchy, mistreatment and perpetual violation and devaluing
2. The abundance of pain that women experience beginning in childhood and continuing on a day to day basis by virtue of being women.
The problem with both of these ideas is that….
They Arose as a means for the pain body to keep itself alive.
Notice that when you read those two things you likely feel anger, sadness, victimhood, maybe even rage, frustration and a sense of #metoo. Are those two statements even true?
Do any of these things cause you to want to dissolve the pain body?
Does it make it seem like it is some profound spiritual experience?
Notice how often the pain body is painted to look like various goddesses and potent feminine energy – Anger is Kali, Sadness is Gaia, Fierceness is Durga, etc;
Ask yourself what is feeding on those emotions?
What point do they serve?
Beyond our modern day women’s studies… what proof do we have that women have collectively felt invisible throughout ALL TIME?
Could it be that the stories we read of this… are the stories of women who did feel this way but not the stories of even the majority of women at that time?
Are we making the age-old mistake of superimposing and projecting our current mindset on people in a different time, different culture, with different concerns and values?
Are women really experiencing pain because we are women?
OR are we like crack babies… our addiction to pain fed to us by our mothers and now our addiction demands that we seek or create pain for our next hit?
You see my loves when we handle the idea of a “pain body” as something that is just part of being human, unavoidable because of how much heartache we’ve had, or something to play with from time to time… we further enliven it and it further keeps us out of true presence, awareness, and joy.
And for women, it is much much worse – because we have begun to identify the pain body… the addiction to unhappiness as being FEMININE. When this happens we believe it IS US and the limiting belief is held that it is a powerful part of being human, a part that women need.
Far from aiding in our human experiences – we sit in a corner, high on our pain as life passes us by and we blame men.
That blame shows up in the words of Gillian Pothier:
“There are moments that this longing feels ancient and timeless, a deep desperate weariness in body + heart for men to ALIGN in action and behavior to the TRUTH of WHO THEY ARE. And when they FAIL through meekness, arrogance, impulsivity, unconsciousness, or privilege, it touches a brimstone in the feminine psyche that RAGES in anguish. I know this place in me…I know both the fury and the sorrow that feels like it may just swallow me whole. “
This is the mindset that feeds the pain body. This is the outsized perspective that creates in women a self-righteousness that they are on the side of truth, justice, the high road, much like a drug addict thinks everyone is trying to hold them down by telling them to stop using – women have grown to see this addiction as RIGHTEOUS RAGE.
Heres the truth my love… Men have every right to be human. Women are not the arbiters of a man knowing who he is.
And… they aren’t FAILING.
What is happening is that the addiction to unhappiness AKA the pain body… is arising and it is being given so very much to feast upon right now that I often wonder if it will consume the mind of the whole world.
What to do, what to do?
* Change your story…
* Recognize the negative thoughts ARE NOT the same as FEELINGS – meaning that creating a story around your feeling is not how to feel it – but it is how you keep the addiction going.
* If a feeling arises FEEL IT without story – do not mistake it for being YOU
* Stop calling the pain body “mine” as anything you call mine you tend to protect and hold on to.
* Create new thought forms – concerning men, how about this- “Men are integral, whole, fascinating creatures and I can’t wait to experience more of how they think, look, behave and experience the world. “
More than anything… begin to connect with the Feminine as more than a space to hold your pain.
It is time for us to truly see the TRUTH of ourselves so that we may begin to be whole.
Learn more, get SOFT – bit.ly/GetSOFT
Namaste Moore – The Feminine Alchemist © Namaste Moore and RichardandNamaste.com 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from the author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Namaste Moore and RichardandNamaste.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.