Reading a book by David Deida has me wanting to talk about Fairness.
So often in our modern first world countries we see fairness as being indicative os social justice, civility and evolutionary change
This is of course SPOT on when it comes to considering how the government operates and how the society encourages its citizens to interact.
HOWEVER – fairness- and a constant reflection about how “fair” things are can be the death sentence to being in love
“When judgement increases, Love decreases”
Fairness is a place of constant judgement. Constant reflection – not on being in love, not on your own expression of care, appreciation and kindness – but on “Whats in this for me” or WITFM (pronounced woof-em) When you spend your time considering the relationship through the lenses of WITFM – you automatically create what amounts to a Love-suck. And this my darling, is. not. good.
Focus on the Fulfillment of Being in Love Instead.
Instead of pushing back against unfairness in your relationship spend time Leaning into what’s Fulfilling.
Where are you feeling MOST loved?
What things does your Beloved do that expressed appreciation?
Where can you pour out more love from a space of expansion?
How are you expressing your appreciation?
Focusing on fulfillment gives you a state of empowerment. It’s a perfect example of doings what you CAN do instead of concerning yourself with what you can’t do. It’s also a great way to get clear about what you love not based on a politically correct version of getting out of a gender binary, what it means to be a feminist, how to be a conscious male or any of that – but based on something MUCH MUCH more powerful.
What it is that gives you pleasure. What it is that fulfills you.
You may be a person thats is totally happy doing all the cooking or cleaning – do that! Who gives a crap about what society says!
Whatever it is – find that place of passion and pleasure and do that.
Lean into the Love.