Our focus is not merely on helping people get together, but on creating something that lasts a lifetime.
We’ve been teaching on this for years and I’m still astounded at how resistant most people are to relationship teaching. Having taught literally thousands of people I’ve noticed some interesting trends my loves:
When seeking relationship help Most people only want enough to stop the immediate pain, but will ignore the deeper work as long as possible.
Most people given the tools to create a strong relationship will ignore them in favor of the cotton candy of NRE (NEW relationship energy)
Most people think they are sacrificing for their partner in some capacity
Most people think that if they have the right person they will avoid all the common relationship challenges and therefore ignore the teachings on those challenges and end up changing partners instead.
Most women think deep down inside that they know how to communicate they are just with a man who doesn’t communicate.
Most women think the only one who gets hurt in the relationship is them.
Most women think that if their partner would just do XYZ the relationship would be better.
Most men think seeking relationship help is for women and is something they do for the woman in their life.
Most men feel like they never get to win a relationship argument or discussion.
Most men feel like they are not allowed to be hurt by what their partner says.
Most men feel like if their partner just accepted them for who they are the relationship would be better.
Most couples see the “relationship” as it’s own independent entity.
Most couples don’t reach true partnership because they never vetted each other and never truly allow the other person to have both the Authority and the Responsibility of the position.
Many people have never seen a healthy relationship up close and have no idea how to create one, but they truly believe they do.
Most people when seeing a healthy relationship want to skip the formation stage to move to maturity without the work
Most people have a number of unspoken expectations, rules and ways that they engage that all but guarantee the relationship will end.
Most people when told exactly how to fix what’s wrong, how to find the right partner, how to…how to… Will go away sad and decide they’ll wing it instead…
(BTW, Of course, these are only my observations… Please don’t feel the necessity to tell me about the exceptions loves.)
What came to me is that… We’re dealing with the Nothing when it comes to Life Partnership.
Do you remember the Never ending story my loves? In it, something called the Nothing was seeking and destroying… Hope. Imagination. BELIEF. Everything.
We have a similar energy destroying life partnership. Because BELIEF is fading, people are no longer approaching marriage with the belief it will last forever. Most people seem to be happy to just find someone for right now and to leave the hope of forever to their dreams. Because of this, no one wants to really put themselves out there. No one wants to ask the hard questions. No one wants to poke the sleeping Dragon by having the vulnerable conversations that may end in rejection. No one wants to give the other person the benefit of having their own feelings, perspectives etc; These are all things you only do when you’re opening for LIFE partnership. These are not things you do when you’re not.
When you’re not planning for forever… You stay guarded, you keep things separate, you keep the conversations on safe ground, ignoring anything too heavy, you have your “off limits” areas and huge spaces you are content to not explore… Because you’re just visiting. You don’t plan things, whatever happens, happens, you aren’t careful to communicate integrally, you always know where your exit route is.
After seeing it go horribly wrong many times you’d think we’d stop doing this work.
But we don’t.
We believe in a Love that Lasts a lifetime.
We believe in Life Partnership.
We believe it’s for you if you want it.
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