More on courting…
Ladies and Gentlemen, you must know what you desire.
In relationships, Form follows Function.
A bit of understanding…
The divorce rate being so high is, to a large extent because, in the current state of our evolution, we will change function a number of times in our lives. We have more opportunities, more travel, we live longer and we are more connected to the global community than ever before. This creates more Self Fluency and reinvention than has occurred in times past. This is function.
With this difference in how we live, in order for our relationships to have sustainable fulfillment, we must allow the form of the relationship to evolve. In short, we must relinquish our tendency to think autonomy and independence will create a solid relationship, and instead find ways to grow together. This is form.
This means pacing yourself… You have time ladies, Kings move slower but their moves carry more weight, don’t try to out maneuver him, it’s not a contest.
This means actively pursuing your evolution gentlemen, she’s counting on you, and her moving as a Queen protects you and helps to bring about your vision if you have one. Have one.
Form follows function. And yet many times relationships are started based on the Function following the form, and so they end.
Form follows function: I want a man who will be a good father to my children, and Joe has the characteristics I’d like.
Function follows form: I am with Joe, I don’t think he’d be a good father, so I need to create and demand controls to prevent his negative influence. *
In courting, knowing what you desire in LIFE will determine the person you pick. If you pick someone based on where you are right now alone, you will often not have enough compatibility to grow together. This is why values are so important. How the values are expressed may shift but the values tend to stay present and that makes growth easy.
What do you want your life to look like? What ways of expressing love feel good? How do you resolve conflict? Know yourself and it makes it so much easier to get to know someone else.
* Once a relationship is established the Form and Function become an endless cycle one feeding into the other in constant balance. This MUST occur to maintain dynamic integrity. However, that happens after the equal sign, not before it.
In Laughter, Love, and Lustiness,