We get a lot of questions and one of them is “Why don’t you guys talk more about sex on the blog?”
Good question! We normally consider sex and our particular brand of Sex and Sensuality education to be something that is best experienced and not intellectualized about. That said- that does not mean there is no merit to a good intellectually stimulating conversation. There are ways to educate about how to have a fulfilling sexually connective experience online.
So we’re going to start talking sex on the blog.
If you have a question shoot us a note. Want a particular topic covered? Let us know.
Because there’s absolutely no reason to ever have bad alcohol or bad sex.
This weeks topic is one we saw posted on a blog we follow.
Is it normal to have sexual fantasies that involve forced sex?
We could go into all of the facts and figures about this type of question, all of the statistics and such – but really if you want all of that click the link above.
More importantly, we’ll say this THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
Fantasies are just that- fantasy. They don’t mean you’re a horrible person. Sexual fantasies in particular often provide a way for us to play with our shadow and spaces within ourselves that we often reject.
We would invite you to take the opportunity to play and experiment with your partners – without judgement of looking for “what does this mean??”
Judgement or fear of judgement gets in the way of sexual and sensual enjoyment all the time. Along with judgement is FEAR. Fear of being judged, fear of being less, fear of our desires and longings being indicative of some sort of pathologic issue.
This is the downside of all of the arm-chair psychology that goes around now.
So – if you have a fantasy of being forced or you fantasize about forcing – SWEET – play with that. Talk to your partner about that. You may choose to explore that fantasy through books, through oral story telling, or through acting it out physically. We encourage you to discuss, find a place that feels good to BOTH people, develop a safe space to explore in and make sure you have ways to communicate DURING the act if you decide to go that far. Also- decompress afterwards. How was it for both people. Yummy? Scary? Both? Who knows what you might come up with. Sex is all about doing what feels good and satisfying to the 2 people involved – so the biggest thing is HAVE FUN.
Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,
Richard and Namaste