What is the Greatest Thing that Undermines a Woman’s Ability to have a Happy Relationship?

The greatest thing that undermines a woman’s ability to have a happy relationship with herself as well as a Masculine Complement, is not the narrative of her own life- but her internalization of the narrative that is fed to her by her family/society: Continue reading “What is the Greatest Thing that Undermines a Woman’s Ability to have a Happy Relationship?”

He’s A Man, Not Your Girlfriend Part II

Relationship Lessons: He’s a Man, not your best Girl friend part 2

Many ladies have asked me “How does making him my best girlfriend look”…

Here’s the thing my love… It looks different for everyone.

I know this sounds crazy but if you’re in a permanent partnership and you find yourself often offended by how he’s choosing to spend his time, by his interests etc; that’s a good sign that you’re trying to make Him into your Girlfriend. Continue reading “He’s A Man, Not Your Girlfriend Part II”

He’s A Man, Not Your Girlfriend Part I

Relationship Lessons- He’s a Man, not your Girlfriend darling. Part 1

Good morning lovelies,

I awakened this morning thinking about relationships. One of the biggest mistakes a woman can make is to try to make her husband/boyfriend into her best GIRLfriend.

Don’t get me wrong my loves, my King is definitely my BESTfriend and Favorite Human… But He’s not my girl friend and there’s a distinction with a Huge difference in that.

Many women don’t understand or realize how they do this nor are they conscious of why they do this or the eroding this does to the relationship. Continue reading “He’s A Man, Not Your Girlfriend Part I”

Understanding Masculine/Feminine Relationship Dynamics

Understanding Masculine/Feminine Relationship Dynamics:

Years ago I read a book called “The Surrendered Wife”, while the premise of the book and many of the ideas SEEMED good there was an undercurrent I simply couldn’t shake.

No matter how much the book spoke of respect, and how to relate and surrender … there was still something there…
eventually, it hit me.

It taught a very common “Thing”, only cloaked in SEEMING acquiescence.

Continue reading “Understanding Masculine/Feminine Relationship Dynamics”

Calling Him Your King


On how we call a thing- (I have no idea why all of this is flowing from my belly tonight but I’m the Conduit so let me get out the way…)
My loves- ONLY call him “my King” if you’re willing to tie the state of your Kingdom (vision, purpose) to HIS.
If you aren’t willing to alter your kingdom for his, to make his people your people (family, children etc;) then he is not YOUR King- although he may be A King. Continue reading “Calling Him Your King”

Why Women Need Their Masculine Beloved


I am so happy to see so many women acknowledging their need for their King/Husband/Masculine Beloved!

This is VITAL to our well-being and yet it can be so challenging because so many of us have been taught NOT to need him. Either through our upbringing, through our experiences with having our heart broken, through being taught that need breeds codependent behavior or abuse or any number of things…

The truth is you need him because without him you’re living a life where you ARE compensating for the lack of him. Without him, you can’t occupy your space fully because you end up trying to do both. The desire to “not need a man” is one of the most soul-sucking, depleting and stress causing ideologies ever taken up by women.

It causes us to see stress as a necessary aspect of life, to work harder than we should and to see challenge as a virtue that we need.

Here’s a secret darlings, as Feminine Women, you’re not made to be stressed. That’s not what you’re built for. You’re built for beauty and pleasure and all the”push” and irritation you may have felt towards “those women” who don’t work hard or seem to live a life of joy only separates you further from the truth that… That is YOUR birthright as well!

Here’s a list of over twenty ways that I need my husband just before noon…I wrote these down yesterday as they occurred, this is after being together 14 years darlings…

*Wakes me up with kisses (affection)
* Orders things for our family (providing)
* Carrying heavy bags (protecting)
* Opens doors (protecting)
* Tips drivers (providing)
* Protects me with his presence (security)
* Gives me hugs and touches (affection)
* Lets me lay on him when I’m tired (affection and protecting)
* Expressed concern over my well-being (protection, care)
* Makes sure I eat (providing)
* Gives me his coat or buys me one if I get cold (protection/providing)
* Gives me directions so I’m safe (protection/guidance)
* Looks out for me, aware of my movements (security)
* Understands me (comfort)
* Anchors be when I feel unsettled or concerned (protection, providing, leading)
* Makes me laugh (companionship)
* Affirms my femininity (companionship)
* Stands guard so I don’t have to armor up ever (protecting)
* Holds my hand, touches my back (affection, protecting)
* Guides me through crowds (leading, protection)
* Drives while I provide lovely conversation (leading, protection)
* Negotiates purchases and rentals (providing)
* Makes decisions (protection, providing, leading)

Many women may say… “But I don’t need that”..the metaphor I like to use is that when your body is lacking an essential nutrient, your body doesn’t say “I need this”, typically for a very long time you’ll function without it. But you will see the *evidence* of the lack in various places and perhaps not realize the reason why.

It’s the same here… Without out all the ways a Healthy polarized dynamic works… You experience a great deal of deficiency, and call it life. Stress, fear, depletion, exhaustion, irritability, anxiety, anger, lack of patience, sadness, and more… All stemming from a lack of intimate masculine connection.

Learn more, get SOFT™ – bit.ly/GetSOFT


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Don’t Force Growth



The tendency is to focus too much on doing and not enough on being.
To take the smallest touch of being and translate it into doing…
It’s like assuming a handshake means it’s time to make love.
Our discomfort with the process that is Remembering and Coming Home, makes it take longer, more challenging and more painful.

It is why in many traditions the first step is to be stripped of everything. The modern western mind rebels against this fiercely. We hold tight to our opinions, feelings, beliefs, perspectives.

We confuse this with our Self.
And God, they laugh.

You are none of these my darling… You are SOMETHING MORE.

You are worth the journey of coming home to

You have been upside down… It’s time to be Righted.

You’ve been trying to use branches for roots.
Mistaking leaves for fruit.
Your roots are parched and dry… They must be deeply planted in the soil.
Watering branches will only cause rot.
It is watered roots that thrive.
You don’t force growth… You simply tend to the plant and the growth happens.
You allow it.

Learn why and how inside… bit.ly/GetSOFT


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