Are you in Love or abuse?

File Oct 27, 8 37 03 AM

Good morning darlings!

I LOVE the above quote by Meredith Marple. We talk about self love. But when is the last time you truly treated yourself like you love your self? No I’m not asking when is the last time you told someone else how much you love yourself. I’m talking about a deep, lavish, effusive sort of self love that nearly drowns you in adoration.

That.

Think you know ALLLLL there is to know about self love? Well love is known by how we care – keep reading to see

(saying the right things and having the right “look”)

Here’s some practical questions to ask:

  • What’s the tone of your inner voice?
  • What names do you call yourself?
  • Do your speak to yourself with patience?
  • When you are struggling, sad, feeling weak what’s your inner dialogue like?
  • What statements do you hear in the mirror?
  • When you’re working out, what’s the inner dialogue?
  • When you’re deeply in love… What does your mind say to you?

See – self care isn’t about how much you feel like a rock star when you do things PERFECTLY. No – self care is really known when you AREN’T at the top of your game, and the truth is….

Many women are suffering in abusive relationships with Their MINDS.

If you’ve established no boundaries in what type of self talk is acceptable, if your mind has you living in fear, if you feel like you can’t live without it beating you up… Your mind is abusing you.

The first step in self care… Is CARE.

C- Compassion and Contentment – You are worthy of compassion and contentment. Speaking internally to yourself in a way that demonstrates you feel compassion and believe yourself  worthy of contentment is HUGE in the land of Self care.

A- Appreciation – To appreciate is to increase in Value. You want to appreciate yourself based on who you ARE- not what you do. While Self Esteem is based on doing esteemable actions – appreciation is based on value. YOU determine what your innate value is – and darling, if you don’t feel yourself to be priceless- you are under-valuing yourself.

R – Rest – When a baby or a beloved pet is tired to you yell at them? Do you make them keep going and going and going?  No? Then why do you do that to yourself? Honoring and celebrating your desire to rest is a core “tell” when it comes to Self care. No matter how much time at the salon, spa or gym a woman spends – if she can’t rest, she’s not really tapped into the deep energy of Self care.

E- Encouragement – Originally the word encourage came from terms meaning “to put in or strengthen the innermost feelings”. How beautiful is that? Too often we DIScourage ourselves by demeaning, devaluing and disparaging ourselves for our innermost feelings and desires – and instead try to “put on” someone else’s idea of what empowerment looks like. An example of this is a woman who longs for a relationship but demeans that inner feeling and “put on” the idea that she doesn’t need ANYONE.

So darlings- How can you give yourself more authentic self CARE this week?

I love your face!!

Life Alchemy – Making Powerful Decisions

So loves – I’m just off the heels of my Taste Retreat which was absolutely phenomenal. Coming off of that we were noticing that we get a TON of questions about how to make powerful decisions. Many people say: “Just be fearless!”, or “Make a list of pros and cons” – but there’s a way to make decisions, come to clarity and much more that guarantees that you’ll make the BEST decision for you.

We use this with most of our decisions- and when we HAVENT used it- we’ve regretted it hugely. (Basically every mistake has been a result of not using it)

And over the years we’ve found out that most of our top successful folks use it as well.

Life AlchemyFlipping

Join us 7/22/15 at 8pmCDT ((pmEDT, 6pmPDT) as we align and alchemize your knowing to make powerful decisions by Flipping the Script!! 

 

Life Alchemy is doing Biz Alchemy – Masterminding!

Hey there loves!!

We’ve been talking a great deal these days about giving some of the BIG SECRETS we’ve learned about business and what it takes to build a thriving business that can sustain you.

We’ve spent thousands of dollars in trainings, various business options, softwares, programs, teachings and more – and we’ve learned quite a bit in that time.

We both started with a background that went from being in Ministry to climbing the Corporate ladder.  We left what many would consider “good jobs” (six-figures) to work for ourselves- doing what we love and what is our PURPOSE.

It was challenging in the early days – but we stuck with it and  learned some tools that enabled our income to increase amazingly over less than a year.

In the next few weeks we’re sharing SOME of those tools on our “Life Alchemy” show on Married to Change Radio because one of our visions has always been to help others build a business that sustains your life.

Mastermind Show

In this weeks show we’re talking about “Masterminding”!

Masterminding is a BIG buzzword in many circles – this week we’re talking Masterminding and how it can HELP or HINDER your state of Attraction.

Having studied Masterminding we came to this idea – that MOST Mastermind groups are leaving out a few VITAL principles that can make or break a Mastermind

We’d love to hear your stories – have you ever been in a mastermind?

What worked? What didn’t?

Also – what would you LOVE to Mastermind about?

Join us on Life Alchemy with Richard & Namaste and Learn how to create a mastermind group for money, love or success in ANY future endeavor!

Check out the show here

on 7/8/15 at 8pmCDT (9pmEDT, 6pmPDT)

We Love Your Face!

Shrines to Past Pain

My Beloved King, Richard has taught me so much in our 12 years together. I frequently refer to His lessons as being a HUGE part of why I am able to do and be who I am today.

One of the first lessons He taught me was  “No shrines to past pain

shrines to past pain

This short phrase speaks to the belief that while pain may be unavoidable- building little shrines that we must kneel before and pay homage to is DEFINITELY optional.

When Richard and I were first together I was separated (not quite divorced) from my former husband of 10 years. I had a lot of “good reasons” to have shrines to past pain- or so I thought.

I had concerns about trust, concerns about abandonment, concerns about being a single mom… mostly because what I desired I’d been told time and time again wasn’t possible.

I wanted a relationship where I didn’t have to vie for control or worry about protecting myself – or my children. I wanted a relationship where I could just fall. No holding back, no making sure my boundaries were intact and respected.

Basically I wanted something that our current society has no way of creating. Having trust issues while deeply longing for a relationship based on ABSOLUTE trust s quick a sticky wicket.

I had within me my longing and my “issues”.

When things would happen – things that activated not my super powers but my weaknesses – something that would cause me to worry, doubt, being skeptical… Richard would say “We don’t do shrines to past pain”

In this he would let me know that he was willing to work through the issue with me- provided I was willing to break down my shrine- my unconscious need to go back and attend to that past pain, my inclination to leave a little offering to it.

The interesting thing is we ALL have a legacy of pain from some point in our lives OR perhaps yours isn’t even from your Life but from the lives of others in your family, your faith, your culture.  The very sensitive among us can carry shrines to the pain of the WORLD and the Species. Some of us have confined our shrine to table top size and others live in a Temple created to house our past pain.

In order to create fulfilling relationships, in order to raise brilliant little humans,

There are many ways to do that…

  • Beginning to recognize that just because you think and feel a thing – doesn’t make it true.
  • Transmutating the energy of your pain into pleasure.
  • Reframing the experience that caused the pain
  • Attend The Taste Retreat – Learn how to connect with your REAL Feminine Legacy – Ease. Pleasure. Flow.

This week on Life Alchemy – we’re going to unpack Shrines to past pain that show up as Generation curses, Ancestral memories and also discuss morphic fields. It’s going to be AMAZING. Tune in on 7/1/15 at 8pmCDT, (9pmEDT and 8pmPDT)  and be sure to call in and talk to us. We love to hear your voices!!

Life Alchemy with Richard and Namaste

morphicfieldshow

In Laughter, Love and Lusciousness,

namaste signature pink
P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

How to avoid being infected

I adore art, learning from amazing people, beauty in all it’s forms.

Some years ago there was an amazing artist I followed. Her work was amazing, and her personality was quirky and totally her own. I bought her products, got involved in her classes and was enjoying myself immensely.

One day I was googling her name seeking out any and all tutorials she may have made and I came upon a website where a number of people had written not-so-favorable things about her.

Smashing her character.

Making fun of her personality.

Mind you this had nothing to do with me.

But I’ll admit that all of this negativity cast a big damper on my fun.

I found myself beginning to see the flaws others had seen – even though I didn’t want to. I eventually was able to push out the negativity and enjoy her again- but in the mean time I found myself listless and disconnected.

Has this ever happened to you?

Negativity Infection pic

 

You’re in love with someone- a teacher, a man or woman, an idea, a dream. They light you up, make you happy… you feel satisfied and hopeful.

Then someone or a group of someones start tearing it apart. Calling it worthless.  Questioning his/her value to you. Causing you to doubt your own heart?

Most recently I noticed this with another teacher I adore- however being older and wiser- I opted to not take that ride – not because I couldn’t withstand it – but because why would I allow the damper on my joy?

And that’s the problem isn’t it?

So often we accept the gossip, the negative video, we click on the link and watch the TV program because of FOMO.

Fear of Missing Out.

One of the insidious lies negativity whispers to us is that we’ll miss out on something “needful” by not tuning in.

By not listening.

That we’re being “naive” and putting our head in the sand.

I mean of course you’re a pretty smart cookie and you can listen/watch/read/ about the negativity and it won’t hurt you at all, right?

Wrong.

Negativity is an infection darling. Of the worse sort.

We tend to think we’re inoculating ourselves against negativity by our exposure.

Nothing can be further from the truth.

Inoculating yourself against negativity by exposure is like letting an Ebola patient cough on you hoping it’ll keep you from getting Ebola.

It *might* work- but is it worth the risk?

You may be wondering what to do instead…

  • Supersaturate yourself with positivity – put it on the radio, in your social media feeds, in your inbox, on youtube, everywhere.
  • Be part of the solution  – turn down any invitation to engage with negativity
  • Protect your mental garden – try not dwelling on any form of negative thought for 7 days.

What do you do love?

How do you protect your mind and cultivate a mindset that is congruent with the version of yourself you’re seeking to Embody?

Want to actually FEED the positive in your life? Check this out!

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

namaste signature pink

Want to be Free ? Here’s how…

Freedom from or Freedom toIf you take a moment and apply the idea I am going to share with you to how you think about your life, the opinions you hold and the decisions that you make, you will absolutely change your life for the better and it will only take you a few minutes to do so.

Like the ubiquitous pixelated jet plane poster of the early 90’s – once you see this, its difficult to ‘un-see’ it again.

This will change your life.

One of the songs I remember from my childhood was the “one of these things dont belong here” song that was often sung by various characters on the PBS show, Sesame Street.
Whenever that bit came on, we watched it – hypnotized by the simple melody and transfixed by the idea that we could solve the problem of the picture, idea or thing that ‘Doesnt Belong Here’ before the singers Song Was Done. Remember that?
The lyric was simple and catchy – the melody was the ultimate mental velcro….aside from the melody to Happy Birthday, the One of These Things song HAS to be the most recognizable and mentally STICKY melodies in song history.

And we learned the lesson.

Through that song, the efforts of our parents and other people we loved and respected, we learned to identify with what we were in opposition to as a method of figuring out what we believed, felt or preferred about pretty much everything.

We have a long and storied history of accomplishment based upon the rapid identification of What’s Wrong With This Picture.
Or other variants of What’s Missing, What’s Different or What’s Wrong.

As a result, even as adults, most of us are still playing that game and we continue to use that method of thinking for damn near everything.

Whenever most people are asked what they believe, what they prefer or how they feel – they find it difficult to articulate our preferences in a positive fashion. By this I mean that we seldom have the words to articulate or explain just WHY we prefer X idea, item or situation over Y or Z idea, item or situation based upon the POSITIVE merits of X, Y or Z.

Instead, just like in the Sesame Street game – we repeatedly rely on our skill in deductive reasoning;

I like X because I absolutely hate Y.

I love the Bears because I hate the Packers.

I love eating healthy foods because I hate high fructose corn syrup, Monsanto and processed foods.

We may feel like we have identified something positive about ourselves and our world view by once again skillfully pointing out the negative.
Over and Over and Over again.

– by ready identification with what we DONT want, or what we DONT prefer.

What is less commonly known or understood is that this way of looking at the world and ones place in it is a stunningly effective means of insuring that one’s life is WAY more difficult than it has to be.

Constant identification with what is NOT desired is rooted in a LACK mentality – which only brings more LACK into your life.

We live in a universe that is constantly responding to our desires, bringing us more and more of what we dwell on, what we think about and what we truly believe.

And this is taking place all the time.

Every single day.

We get what we focus on – and when our worldview is firmly fixated on identification of what we DONT want…well, we tend to get MORE of that, whatever it is.

Getting your head around this idea takes a moment.

You may have been brought up to believe that you are just a leaf being tossed about by the winds of life.

Its not true.  You are actually amazingly efficient and powerful – and you are constantly using that very power to bring things into your experience.

We (Namaste and I) have spent years looking at this, turning this concept around and implementing it in our lives.

Words are important – your words become the clearest avenue into understanding what you truly believe about yourself and about your life.

Once we realized this truth – once it really sunk in…we began to pay much closer attention to the things that we said to each other and about ourselves.

The very next thing was to try to boil this concept down to something that could be easily understood and shared with everyone we knew.

We began to focus on how to crystallize this down to a thought form that is manageable and easily understood.

That was the birth of the idea of  Freedom From Vs Freedom To.

Are you amazingly good at the One of These Things game in your own life? Do you usually focus your attention on what you DONT want, DONT prefer or spend time musing about The Worst That Could Happen?

That’s Freedom From thinking…. the idea of trying to get somewhere positive by identification of what you are in OPPOSITION TO, you DONT want, or want to be free FROM.

Some examples are:

“I want to be Free from Poverty”

“I want to be Free from Disease”

“I want to be Free from Racism/Sexism and a host of other isms!”

Freedom from has it’s place – the pain of what you desire to be free from can be an incredible catalyst to change – it can by the energetic alarm clock that wakes you up. And, much like an alarm clock  – once you’ve awakened you need to  – TURN IT OFF.

What do you need to turn to?

Freedom To.

Freedom to is more of an expansive vision, worldview and palette of preference. People with a freedom to perspective tend to look at what is, or even might be possible in any given circumstance.
As a result Freedom To people tend to identify more with what they DO want – and their lives reflect that simple truth.

Lets take a look at our earlier examples through a Freedom To lens;

Im a Democrat because of these factors that appeal to me about being a Democrat.
No need to bash Repubs or anyone else for that matter – what the other parties do or dont stand for is irrelevant.
Im a feminist because of X positive things that cause feminism to appeal to me and make me feel good. No need whatsoever to bash Men.
Im into making healthy food choices because I feel better when I do so….in fact I have a hundred reasons why I feel better, and I can talk about those things without blasting the Monsanto corporation, fast food or sugar.

There are a million examples on how to do this.
Can you see the difference?
Everything comes down to Freedom TO vs Freedom FROM.
Get better at identifying what you think, prefer and believe from a positive place of what you actually LOVE instead of what you OPPOSE.

By doing this you attract more of what you WANT to be Free TO do, have, experience.

Trust me – You’ll begin to feel better almost immediately as a result – and you’ll begin to see the results of this tangibly!

If you’d like to know more about working with us to get yourself FIRMLY on the track of Freedom to and uplevel your life schedule a FREE discovery session.

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

A Culture of Brokenness and Relationships

A culture of Brokenness

 

The other day at dinner with 2 amazing couples, the topic of relationship drains came up. My Beloved and I made the observation that we have a culture of brokenness. What this is- is that in our culture here in the USA- we notice the tendency to want to hold on to pain as a way of feeling special.

No one really expects or seeks to get OUT OF whatever the pain is.

The most that will happen is perhaps some management can occur. But never true healing.

This occurs in our medical field – diseases that are possibly healable such as obesity, diabetes, even hypertension are managed but never healed

It happens in mental health – everyone has something – have you noticed this? OCD, BPD, Bi-polar, depression, manic, PTSD, etc; these terms are thrown about (often without a diagnosis) and never healed from – simply managed – forever.

What’s most amazing is not that the healing doesn’t occur- it’s that its not even LOOKED for. Most of the time the Western automatic response is one of learning to live with it – not heal it.

And –not surprisingly this is mirrored in romantic relationships and in general world view and experience of life.

A person gets their heart broken – so they decide to never love again. They experience betrayal – so they decide to never trust again. They feel devalued – so they decide to just say “F*ck the world- I don’t need anyone!”, they were rejected and now they perceive rejection EVERYWHERE.

Everyone has a wound.

Something that your mother/father/brother/sister/friend/enemy/teacher/student/neighbor/stranger/family/society did to you. Some great pain that was inflicted upon you that informs upon how you live life and how you love.

Many times we just avoid that place in our lives.

We know the pain it causes and the agony so why even go there?  Better to just walk around it. This can work until we get into a relationship.

Then we can have the expectation that our Beloved will ALSO walk around it. Make allowances for our wound.

Because we never think in terms of healing – only managing our past pain.

Even when our loves try their hardest – they are rarely ever able to avoid the danger zone of our pain for long. Within relationships, we frequently find out that the area of woundedness is far more pervasive than we thought. Our partners can rarely do anything without in some way setting off a pain flair of some past pain.

So what do you do?

True healing quote

The only solve really is the willingness to heal. To not simply manage your past pain but to open up to the idea that maybe just maybe – you can heal from it and not have it effect your life anymore.

Yes darling – I realize this idea is new and novel – it might even sound crazy!

“No one heals!” – you might think.

Au contraire dear heart! In the realm of authentic sustainable relationship cultivation – the ONLY way out is through.

And that’s what coaching does.

In all my years of coaching what I have noticed  to be true in all of my clients is that they are amazing , competent, powerful people.

85%  have kick-ass loving relationships.

They are very good  at the things they do.

So why do they need me?

I do what any good coach does- I show them their blindspots.

See, if you go to any gym you’ll see men there that apparently LOVE to work out their upper body. HUGE pecs, arms and all sorts of glorious bodies. But if you look at their lower body. It’s small and under-developed. You ever wonder “how the heck did that happen?” Especially when they’re ALWAYS at the gym?

The way that happens is because it is human nature to work on the things we love and enjoy and to have an energetic and emotional blind spot to things that we do not enjoy.

This applies most blatantly to relationships. In our romantic relationships you have a case where fundamentally BOTH people truly long for and desire to get along and live happily ever after. Whenever they come in contact with something that seems to rock the boat, feel bad, or cause tension, the tendency is to just ignore it, to simply not look at it or discuss it or to say “I can deal with that” and “its okay” without having any dialogue about it with your partner.

Why? Because we’re in love and we’re sure it’ll all work out eventually.

At least initially.

Over time some of those things start seeming eerily similar to situations from our past. We start noticing how many things this person does that reminds of that person who hurt us, wounded us, etc. We find it more and more challenging to feel deeply fulfilled and loved in the relationship. We find ourselves feeling more and more judgment about who the person is and how much they care for us. Eventually all of those things build up and the relationship ends – at least emotionally if not physically.

Coaching is an incredible mirror. We’re talking High Def to the nth degree.  It shows you thing you can’t see from your vantage point.

Coaching provides a way to help you see truly the areas that you might prefer to NOT see. In seeing these areas of weakness and wounding you are then provided with an opportunity and tools to begin to heal and strengthen in those areas. It’s not easy. Usually those are areas that you’d rather NOT deal with or tools you’d rather not use. Especially because you’re working muscles that may have darn near atrophied completely. That’s okay. The thing about the coach is they are right in there with you. Helping. Guiding. Teaching. Encouraging.

Waiting until you relationship has “issues” to seek coaching is like waiting until you’re in the Superbowl to start football training. Yes you can do that- but you’ll have missed huge opportunities. Start now. Begin today. Build the relationship you long for and heal your past wounds.

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

namaste signature pink

 

 

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

P.P.S. You can work with Richard and/or myself in coaching! Click here to see how to work with us!

Inspiration and practices for times of confusion or dispair

Inspiration for Times of Despair and Confusion

Confusion guy

Sometimes we really need some inspiration. Sometimes we feel like we just don’t know what to do.

There have been some really challenging times in the course of our lives and in the process of our Living this Conscious Creation path, let me tell you it hasn’t all been Bavarian cream darlings.  In today’s video, we talk about what to do when you don’t know WHAT to do.

That’s the most difficult place, isn’t it?

It’s one thing when you’re in a situation and you know you have  options. But sometimes you really don’t know what to do – either because you are so full of despair and pain, or because it all just seems so freaking confusing.

I remember when I was making the decision to move to Austin. I had other options but I wasn’t sure which one was the RIGHT one. Not knowing that caused me sooo much angst.

We both remember when we were making the decision to divorce our former spouses.  It wasn’t that there wasn’t love there – it was a feeling of so much despair and pain and hurt that we really didn’t know WHAT to do.

You might be experiencing something like that right now. It may be big or it may be little. Either way, you need to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Title

You need a little clarity – a little inspiration.  A little something that will help the clouds clear – at least enough so you can take a breath.

Inhale. Exhale.

Sometimes that’s all you can do when you’re feeling like you don’t know what to do.

OH and smile.

Yes, I said smile.

It’s not being fake- did you know smiling has been used in studies to treat depression?

Not the plastic smile that stops at your mouth- no – the kind of smile that goes all the way up to your eyes and forms crows feet.

That kind of smile can help you lift the despair and create some space.

Check out the video below for some awesome ideas and inspiration of what to do when you really don’t know WHAT to do!

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

 Richard and Namaste

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

P.P.S. – Get my BEST practices absolutely free. It’s my gift to you! Click Here

How to Manifest

Big title ‘eh?

I hear talk of manifesting pretty frequently – and I use the term a great deal.

Did you know manifest means “to spread” or “to show by actions”?

Pretty awesome huh?

And it changes the way we’ve been using the term quite a bit.

You want to manifest wealth? That means spread it, or show your wealth by your actions.

You want to manifest the super juicy relationship of your dreams? Then spread love. Show your love by your actions.

Want to manifest influence, health, self-esteem – then do that which you hope to manifest.

Manifest pic

BE what you desire to HAVE.

It is truly that simple, darling!

So tell me -what ARE you manifesting today?

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

namaste signature pink

.

P.S – Want to learn how to manifest  more of the awesomeness inside of you? Join us here! 

Happy Day!!

You need to be Happy. 

Seriously abundantly happy.

Yes- I know you’ve been hurt and disappointed, you’ve been fearful and distrusting, right now there are a ton of stressors and things on your to-do list.

But what I’d like you to do is to think to yourself – what does happy look like for me today?

What do I do when I’m happy?

What smells, tastes and sounds make me feel happy?

And commit.

Commit to being happy. Commit to FEELING what happiness feels like in your body- in this way, you’ll be more aware of when you’re truly unhappy and when you’re merely bored. When you’re sad or joyful.

Happiness is a path worth Cultivating! On this the international day of happiness – Get up, and do you biggest baddest happy dance!

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

namaste signature pink

 

 

 

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT