On Blended Families Part IV - Other People

Other People

A huge challenge in blended families is the opinions of other people. The opinions of other family members, friends and the child’s biological parents and their family can cause a host of chaos to the budding blended family.

Everyone has their horror stories. Everyone has their opinion of what is appropriate and inappropriate. Everyone has their fears. This is true in non-blended families as well – the difference is that other people’s opinions, in this case, can bring DIVISION.

People can attempt to divide the family along biological lines – yours and his. They can make statements and have behaviors that undermine the oneness that you’re attempting to create in your family.

And it’s painful.

Here are a few guidelines that can help:

* Feel free to establish clear-cut boundaries with others.
* Maintain a united state between you and your spouse.
* Respect your bonus child’s biological parent- understand that does not give that parent the right to authority in your home.
* It is acceptable and even commendable to NOT allow relatives or friends to alienate your bonus children.
* The only people to determine what is appropriate is you and your partner
* When possible cultivate a minimum of civility (preferably being cordial or even friendliness) wth the biological parent.
* If you are the bonus parent- NEVER speak ill or with disrespect of a child’s biological parent. Not to the child. Not to the biological parent you’re married to. This only causes stress in the home and is wholly unnecessary.
* If you are the bio parent- Do not allow the other bio parent to speak ill of your partner. Not to the child or to you. You may not be able to prevent it- but you can vocalize that it is unacceptable and remove yourself whenever it occurs.

I love your face,