Richard

Great King – Do you pick out your woman’s clothes?

July 13, 2017 by Richard Leave a Comment

Great King Live Forever!!!

Great King – Do you pick out your woman’s clothes?

I love this article – it talks about the pleasant surprise that this woman received when she let HIM pick out what he wanted her to wear, for an entire week.

Initially, she was extremely worried – but that quickly turned to joy as she realized that he actually knew what he was about.

I’ve learned that this is a fantastic opportunity for deepening pleasure in your relationship that is often overlooked. People often comment on how beautiful my Namaste is attired – what they do not know is that I select and purchase everything that she wears. When I say everything – I mean EVERYTHING.

…

Want to be Free ? Here’s how…

November 11, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

If you take a moment and apply the idea I am going to share with you to how you think about your life, the opinions you hold and the decisions that you make, you will absolutely change your life for the better and it will only take you a few minutes to do so.

Like the ubiquitous pixelated jet plane poster of the early 90’s – once you see this, its difficult to ‘un-see’ it again.

This will change your life.

One of the songs I remember from my childhood was the “one of these things dont belong here” song that was often sung by various characters on the PBS show, Sesame Street.
Whenever that bit came on, we watched it – hypnotized by the simple melody and transfixed by the idea that we could solve the problem of the picture, idea or thing that ‘Doesnt Belong Here’ before the singers Song Was Done. Remember that?
The lyric was simple and catchy – the melody was the ultimate mental velcro….aside from the melody to Happy Birthday, the One of These Things song HAS to be the most recognizable and mentally STICKY melodies in song history.

And we learned the lesson.

Through that song, the efforts of our parents and other people we loved and respected, we learned to identify with what we were in opposition to as a method of figuring out what we believed, felt or preferred about pretty much everything.

We have a long and storied history of accomplishment based upon the rapid identification of What’s Wrong With This Picture.
Or other variants of What’s Missing, What’s Different or What’s Wrong.

As a result, even as adults, most of us are still playing that game and we continue to use that method of thinking for damn near everything.

Whenever most people are asked what they believe, what they prefer or how they feel – they find it difficult to articulate our preferences in a positive fashion. By this I mean that we seldom have the words to articulate or explain just WHY we prefer X idea, item or situation over Y or Z idea, item or situation based upon the POSITIVE merits of X, Y or Z.

Instead, just like in the Sesame Street game – we repeatedly rely on our skill in deductive reasoning;

I like X because I absolutely hate Y.

I love the Bears because I hate the Packers.

I love eating healthy foods because I hate high fructose corn syrup, Monsanto and processed foods.

We may feel like we have identified something positive about ourselves and our world view by once again skillfully pointing out the negative.
Over and Over and Over again.

We have become a nation of people who constantly define ourselves by opposition

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– by ready identification with what we DONT want, or what we DONT prefer.

What is less commonly known or understood is that this way of looking at the world and ones place in it is a stunningly effective means of insuring that one’s life is WAY more difficult than it has to be.

Constant identification with what is NOT desired is rooted in a LACK mentality – which only brings more LACK into your life.

We live in a universe that is constantly responding to our desires, bringing us more and more of what we dwell on, what we think about and what we truly believe.

And this is taking place all the time.

Every single day.

We get what we focus on – and when our worldview is firmly fixated on identification of what we DONT want…well, we tend to get MORE of that, whatever it is.

Getting your head around this idea takes a moment.

You may have been brought up to believe that you are just a leaf being tossed about by the winds of life.

Its not true. You are actually amazingly efficient and powerful – and you are constantly using that very power to bring things into your experience.

We (Namaste and I) have spent years looking at this, turning this concept around and implementing it in our lives.

Words are important – your words become the clearest avenue into understanding what you truly believe about yourself and about your life.

Once we realized this truth – once it really sunk in…we began to pay much closer attention to the things that we said to each other and about ourselves.

The very next thing was to try to boil this concept down to something that could be easily understood and shared with everyone we knew.

We began to focus on how to crystallize this down to a thought form that is manageable and easily understood.

That was the birth of the idea of Freedom From Vs Freedom To.

Are you amazingly good at the One of These Things game in your own life? Do you usually focus your attention on what you DONT want, DONT prefer or spend time musing about The Worst That Could Happen?

That’s Freedom From thinking…. the idea of trying to get somewhere positive by identification of what you are in OPPOSITION TO, you DONT want, or want to be free FROM.

Some examples are:

“I want to be Free from Poverty”

“I want to be Free from Disease”

“I want to be Free from Racism/Sexism and a host of other isms!”

Freedom from has it’s place – the pain of what you desire to be free from can be an incredible catalyst to change – it can by the energetic alarm clock that wakes you up. And, much like an alarm clock – once you’ve awakened you need to – TURN IT OFF.

What do you need to turn to?

Freedom To.

Freedom to is more of an expansive vision, worldview and palette of preference. People with a freedom to perspective tend to look at what is, or even might be possible in any given circumstance.
As a result Freedom To people tend to identify more with what they DO want – and their lives reflect that simple truth.

Lets take a look at our earlier examples through a Freedom To lens;

Im a Democrat because of these factors that appeal to me about being a Democrat.
No need to bash Repubs or anyone else for that matter – what the other parties do or dont stand for is irrelevant.
Im a feminist because of X positive things that cause feminism to appeal to me and make me feel good. No need whatsoever to bash Men.
Im into making healthy food choices because I feel better when I do so….in fact I have a hundred reasons why I feel better, and I can talk about those things without blasting the Monsanto corporation, fast food or sugar.

There are a million examples on how to do this.
Can you see the difference?
Everything comes down to Freedom TO vs Freedom FROM.
Get better at identifying what you think, prefer and believe from a positive place of what you actually LOVE instead of what you OPPOSE.

By doing this you attract more of what you WANT to be Free TO do, have, experience.

Trust me – You’ll begin to feel better almost immediately as a result – and you’ll begin to see the results of this tangibly!

If you’d like to know more about working with us to get yourself FIRMLY on the track of Freedom to and uplevel your life schedule a FREE discovery session.

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

Want a strong Relationship? Do the Work!

October 7, 2014 by Richard 1 Comment

To achieve anything worthwhile takes work.

Why should marriage be any different?

Years of your life are spent in school preparing to obtain the job you want or the career you want to pursue.

If you wanted to excel in sports, art or singing, you were willing to work at it and spend endless hours practicing.

It wasn’t work – it was a joy.

Whatever your dream, nothing would stop you from tirelessly working to achieve your goal even if it meant foregoing certain pleasures and taking extra classes.

You studied and read every book you could get your hands on to help you get better and eventually become the person you wanted to be. To achieve the dream of whatever it is you were working for.

Do you approach your relationship with as much zeal and enthusiasm?

Unfortunately, most people think it’s a learn as you go project.

They “wing it” on a day-to-day basis and fail to see the mistakes made along the way until it ends in breakup, separation or divorce.

It’s no secret that more than half of all marriages end in divorce and many others are miserably unhappy.

We see this happening all the time – in fact many times when someone compliments us on how happy we are, I can almost hear the echoes of loss in the statement

– I wish I could have a relationship like yours.

Sometimes they say it out loud.

And it breaks my heart – because I truly believe it IS possible for anyone that wants to have an awesome relationship like we have – IF.

The big IF is whether or not you are willing to do the work to have that amazing relationship.

IF you are willing to invest in your future happiness.

IF you are willing to endure the discomfort of abadoning your insecurities and de-story all the things you’ve told yourself over the years about how all this is supposed to work.

Our relationship is a huge responsibliity. We actually discuss it daily.

Its not work – its a pleasure.

Im happier than I’ve ever been in my life in a relationship, and I firmly believe that its because of the work that we both are committed to doing to love and understand each other.

Here’s a BIG SECRET that Im going to share with you – if you do this, ONE thing, theres a good possibility you can find your way to being blissfully happy and we may never work together.

Im good with that.

The SECRET is – work on it before you have to.

Like now for instance. Everything going good?

No arguments, petty disagreements or irritations bothering you? PERFECT.

Take a deep breath. Two if you need to.

Now its time to talk about the relationship! (stop rolling your eyes. Im serious.)

Talk about the relationship. What are your joys? Fears?

What do you most love about him or her…now is your time to share all the words of affirmation and support that you typically THINK in your head without actually SAYING out loud to the person you love.

Give voice to them. Say them now – NOW while there isnt anything serious on the table.

Now while there isnt a Bad Thing that needs to be worked on.

Now while you can look each other in the eye and nobody has to be forgiven for speaking in anger or irritation.

You know how it is…when you are typically “Having The Talk”. With all of that gooey, sticky terribleness that signifies Somethings Wrong Between Us.

Instead – Be present now – talk to each other. Engage with each other. Share your hearts. Be willing to LET GO of the notion that talking about the relationship is some kind of Necessary Evil that is filled with tension and bad feelings.

Believe me, I know how that feels.

I can remember when I was in a previous relationship – just the phrase “can we talk?” made my pulse and respiration spike almost instantly.

When I heard that phrase, I knew that all hell was about the break loose.

As a result I absolutely HATED relationship talks. They were long, difficult, painful affairs that always meant that something was WRONG and it was probably my fault.

I discovered that I been trained by my circumstances and eventually my expectation that ANY relationship talk was by definition a bad one.

Which just plain isnt true. And it doesnt serve our relationship or our happiness.

So I needed to get rid of that story – and replace it with a story that made more sense and fit better with the life that I wanted to lead and the relationship I desired.

Today, communicating about our relationship and what it means to us is never a source of pain or discomfort – in fact,

these are the conversations, the moments that feed us, that sustain us –

If we ever have a tense moment or misunderstanding, its usually resolved in minutes, instead of the hours, days and weeks that used to happen in previous relationships.

This seems like magic – but it’s a skill.

It’s a choice.

Its what we do – not only for each other, but in our practice, helping couples do the Work –

to heal and to grow together instead of apart.

We can teach you how to live and love like this – IF you are willing to do the work.

Invest in yourself – invest in your relationship, your future.

Be truly happy for once.

Do the Work.

Man-I-Festing Daily,

-Richard

How to improve your life and relationship dramatically in 60 seconds.

September 29, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

What is my best in this very moment?

Now is the moment of power – Now is really all we have.

When it comes to doing MY personal best whenever it is brought to my consciousness,

Now….is also really all that I need.

If I slide over into dreaming about the future…or regretting the past – either of those exercises that take me away from right now, also take me away from actually being able to DO anything to improve my situation. Have you noticed how absolutely still you become when your mind is occupied with what happened before (the past) or what might happen tomorrow (the future)?

There seems to be something about not being present that is a huge energy drain – its almost as if the effort of focusing our consciousness on somewhen else is such an energy suck that it reduces us to near immobility.

Dont worry though – its not your fault. That’s just how most of us are wired. The good news? Its easy to fix.

Here are three super easy steps to take to get centered, focused and to become more present instantly;

Ask yourself – What is MY best in this moment and paying attention to these three things;

How am I sitting? (posture),
How am I breathing? (am I conscious of my breathing deeply, fully?) ,
How am I really feeling? (do I feel that Im in control of my emotions or are my present circumstances controlling my emotions)?

Why are these important?

When I focus on how I am sitting, I am conscious of my body. When Im conscious of my body I remember that I do not have to live in my head all of the time. When I focus on my breathing, I relieve stress and eliminate toxins from my body and I receive an immediate boost in energy and awareness as I consciously take in more oxygen. And when I notice how I am feeling, I am then in a position to acknowledge my emotions in a way that promotes emotional health.

If I develop the habit of doing my best in these little spaces – in these everyday, regular places in my life – then in times of crisis I find that I have resources to draw upon.

When I notice how Im sitting and I change to a position that feels better….well, it FEELS BETTER in a small way, and that improves the whole.

When I observe how Im breathing and I relax my shoulders and relax my belly and take a DEEP BREATH….having more oxygen onboard…that FEELS BETTER TOO!!!

The amazing thing is that we can do these things multiple times a day – whenever we are feeling depleted or tired or spent, and literally FEEL BETTER. And it costs us nothing.

The consequence for not doing this consistently is that when it matters, instead of being able to draw upon the best and highest, we tend to focus upon the ‘ideal’ instead – and the ideal will almost always be beyond our ability to achieve in that moment, which becomes a focal point, a reminder for my inner critic to then hammer me with failure and disappointment.

(like when I think about eating right….well, that reminds me that I should be in better shape, I should workout. Yeah…a gym membership! One day soon. I’ve been putting that off too long already. blah, blah f-ing blah.)

You know that drill.

That’s not what I want you to do.

When we are truly breathing deeply, we activate our Parasympathetic Nervous System,

which helps clear our mind, burn fat, speed up our metabolism, and remove toxins from our body.

This is serious business – over 70% of all the toxins produced in our bodies are removed through breathing!

When its time to talk about the relationship – its easy to believe that your shoulders being tight,

and your shallow breathing

and your headache

and being tired.

are just PART OF THE EXPERIENCE – of having a serious discussion.

But that is really bullshit.

It doesnt have to be that way.

Not now and not ever.

In fact, if you find yourself having all of that OTHER physical stuff going on – you obviously arent ready to talk about anything constructively.

Especially something important.

So, first things first.

I just want you to breathe. Deeply. Get more oxygen in your lungs and help your whole body feel just a little bit better.

Right now.

Relax your shoulders. Soften the belly.

And breathe.

Breathing Exercises

To detoxify the body and balance hormones, practice deep breathing every day.

In those situations where you can just feel your blood boiling or anxiety levels rising, try this:

Breathe in silently through your nose to the slow count of 4.
Hold your breath to the count of 7.
Exhale through your mouth to the count of 8, making a slight audible sound.
Repeat the 4-7-8 cycle another three times, for a total of four breathing exercises.

This isn’t beyond your capabilities and you need nothing else to help you, just yourself.

Now is your Moment of Power – Do YOUR personal best..

Dont forget to breathe.

Man-I-Festing Daily,

Richard

The High Cost of Always Being Right

August 12, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

I dont remember the exact conversation that we were having…but I do know that I insisted that I was right about something. In fact, I was so sure that how I was seeing things was the exact right way to see them that in expressing my viewpoint I just kept repeating the same sentences over and over again, as if by sheer repetition of my perspective that my Namaste would understand and agree that I was right! LOL…. In her gentle and thoughtful way, she asked me a question about the nature of what I was trying to communicate and whether or not I believed she could really understand why I felt the way I did just from my repetition of what I believed happened.

It took me about 3 more laps around the metaphorical conversation track before the light finally came on!!! Eventually I realized that my insistence that I was right kept me from fully participating in the discussion and delayed reaching a place of understanding. Being ‘right’ actually became a barrier to intimacy and communication! We actually laughed about it when we unraveled what was happening, but since that time I’ve been thinking about how many people we know who struggle with this very issue, on an ongoing basis – often with disastrous consequences in their relationships, personal lives and even in their careers.

One of the highest prices we pay in life is the cost of being right. ~Richard Moore

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Some of us will sacrifice almost anything in order to be the last one standing. In the aftermath, a person who had been surrounded by closeness, togetherness or even love, now sits alone safe in the knowledge that he or she is right in their viewpoint even though they have alienated everyone around them. The ego is a mighty powerful entity left unchecked. Have you ever attempted to reason with a child who knows everything? It is their way or no way at all. They simply cannot understand the concept of another persons point of view. Children go through a stage where they are extremely self-absorbed. The world revolves around their desires and needs. This is a normal stage of childhood where the child is asserting their individuality and independence. The problem arises when the behavior is carried over into adulthood, then it can have a negative effect on intimacy, communication and our relationships.

People who need to be right have little patience for others.

They perceive their ideas as the right way to do things and their viewpoint as the right way to think. A differing opinion is a direct affront to their sense of well-being and they can become extremely aggressive in their defense of themselves. They tend to alienate others due to their insistence on being right. The importance of the issue in question doesnt seem to have any relevance. Anger and a lack of empathy seem to be the rule of thumb. Have you ever been discussing something fervently with your spouse and at some point you lose the thread on what it was that you were even talking about? But you still have all the emotion and the anger and you are still pressing your ‘point’ even though you no longer know what your point is? You may be firmly in the grip of the Being Right disease!!!

If you cant say ‘Amen‘ then say ‘ouch‘ as my pastor used to say!!

Men and women are very different. We each have a totally unique set of DNA that will never be replicated short of cloning. I dont think the same as my Namaste does and vice-versa. Our brains are wired differently. What seems totally natural and easy for me to do may be close to impossible for her and vice versa. When we have had different ways of looking at a particular issue I’ve discovered over time that its easy to get caught in the thought pattern; ‘If I can see this so clearly, why in the world cant you? The reality is that just because I can see things a certain way does not mean that she can. Nor does it make me better or right. Just different. Websters dictionary states the following as a definition of the word right: conforming to facts or truth; most favorable or desired. Can someones opinion or idea be right because it is considered as conforming to the truth or a fact? By the way, whose truth? Or better yet, two viewpoints can each conform to the truth so which one is more right? Can someones communication on a subject be the most favorable or desired? That is highly relative and I think that is the point. It is all relative.

There’s a difference between ‘right’ and ‘self righteousness’.

When we simply MUST be right – that seems to be more akin to the definition of self-righteous which Websters defines as being convinced of one’s own righteousness, especially in contrast with the actions and beliefs of others -we come across as self-righteous, i.e., someone who feels that their way of seeing and doing things is inherently superior to that of others. Why do we feel such an intense need to be right? Myriad reasons come to mind: self esteem issues, low self-confidence, the past running the present, remnants of childhood adaptations, ego-centric behavior, a ‘win at any cost’ mentality – the list goes on and on. I am of the opinion that it isnt so much the reasons (although it is important to understand why we do certain things) behind why we need to be right rather the self-knowledge that we are indeed involved in this kind of self-destructive behavior. We are responsible for how we communicate, what we say to each other, for how we react to each other. When we are caught in the grip of self-righteousness its very easy to lose sight of this basic fact. What are the costs of being right? We come across as a know-it-all, which alienates those we love and negatively impacts our relationships. We isolate ourselves. We turn away intimacy, connectedness and love. We become an island unto ourselves. Most impactful is the fact that we close ourselves off to the beauty of what our relationship has to offer because we think we know best. We will never recognize where the next opportunity for growth or depth in our relationship lies if we do not remain open to possibilities. To remain receptive to the opportunities that are being offered to us, we must keep an open mind and heart. We must learn to listen to what she or he has to say. We must be aware and conscious of what is being offered to us at any given moment. We must realize that there is much to gain from listening and not speaking. If I am too busy pushing my agenda, I cannot possibly hear what is being said and therefore I may miss out on what could be an opportunity to experience deep learning and personal growth. Maybe you’re not a spiritual person and you don’t believe that the universe is sending messages all the time for what is best and highest in your life, as I do. Then consider this; Looking at the big picture versus the immediate helps put things in perspective. If you don’t get your way, is it a matter of life and death? Will you even remember this incident ten years from now? Some things are simply not worth the effort and being right all the time fits into that category. Think of what it is like to be heard? How do you regard someone who takes a sincere interest in you and what you have to say? Those people who hold a genuine curiosity about others are magnets. We are attracted to them because they make us feel good about ourselves. They in turn are rewarded with deeper friendships, better working relationships, more meaningful and loving personal relationships, a greater degree and depth of intimacy, and a universe that continually opens with more possibilities. Here’s the Truth:

“Being right is insignificant compared to being happy.” ~Deepak Chopra

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The best part about this – you can start today . Start by simply noticing if you are overly invested in being right when you have a discussion with your beloved. Just notice how you are being and ask yourself, why? Imagine being in their shoes and seeing through their eyes. What do you look like from their viewpoint? Is it a picture you like? If not, how could you do things differently? As you notice and do things differently you may start to see dramatic changes. Or the changes may be subtler. As we learn to do things differently, to react differently in our interactions with our beloved, then they start to react differently to us! Your world will open up. You will start feeling more connected. You will learn new things that had remained closed off to you before. New possibilities for a life and love that is more meaningful and fulfilling will appear to you. Being righteous and being self-righteous are at the opposite ends of the spectrum. A life well lived is a life where being right is not the be-all end-all. The most important thing is to love fully, love deeply and to be loved in return. Whenever we feel that sensation of ‘needing to be right’ – its always helpful to ask yourself..”What would LOVE say or do in this very situation?” Then proceed.

P.S. – Out of Romantic Ideas? Now you have 101 of them – click here to download my free e-book!!!

Learning Divorce Lessons

July 29, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

I remember the pain and agony of my divorce.

At times I thought the pain would literally kill me.

It was like walking down a never-ending spiral staircase of razor blades steps barefoot into hell itself.

On a good day. (holla if you know what that feels like)

Vows….well, vows were my friends!

I feel like such a fool, I’ll NEVER be fooled again!

I let this happen. I will NEVER let this happen again!

I vowed any number of times that I would never, ever be in this situation again.

And I worked really hard at making sure I kept that promise to myself.

Armored up….just like a Transformer, or a tank.

Encased my heart in armor plating – nothing could get in…or out for that matter.

I became numb. At the time I remember thinking that numbness wasn’t really what I wanted. But I felt like I had no choice.

Numbness is better than pain, I thought.

I choose to Go Deeper.

I hear the sages talk about how pain can be a teacher.

What’s interesting is that most people automatically assume that the lesson pain is teaching us is to become really, really good at AVOIDING PAIN.

Like I did – Hence the Armor.

Its a common misconception.

And the Real Issue is never pain itself. Pain is just the messenger.

The reality is that pain draws our attention to what the real issue is.

The 10th Law of Karma is The Law of Change. The essence of this law states that “history repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.”

One of the ideas that broke through the fog of confusion and pain is that my steadfast commitment to NOT being in pain again wasn’t serving me.

I also had someone who loved me unconditionally through my rage and my hurt. My Namaste.

Love is a healing balm to the tortured soul,Truth is a key to unlock the closed doors of the heart.

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Trying to avoid pain by armoring up is tantamount to avoid getting a stomachache by swearing off food.

Either one will kill you if you keep it up long enough. Die emotionally, or Die physically.

I choose to Go Deeper.

I choose to Love.

Love involves risk. Plain and simple.

If you want to have joy in your life, you have to feel and if you want to feel you have to open up. And if you open up….

Well, you can be hurt.

My body cannot live without food.

And my heart cannot live without love. THIS is the lesson that pain was trying to teach me.

Finally I learned to listen.

Lesson #1. Oaths and Vows are Important. – In many faiths, distinction is made between simple promises and oaths or vows. What I didnt realize is that an oath is a promise invoking God as a witness. In our culture de-constructing a vow (like a marriage vow) takes a shiz-ton of effort. When I swear that I wont EVER do something again (like love, marriage etc.) That’s serious bizness. I had to do some serious work to de-story and unravel the commitment I made to the Path of Being Alone, Angry and Hurt before I could truly heal and move on to a good relationship. Speaking of Anger…

Lesson # 2 When the Anger dissipates – Fear can step in to fill its place. Nobody can remain angry and hurt forever. Eventually it fades away….but what came in to take the place of the anger? Fear. Not a devastating phobia type of fear, just an instinctual avoidance of things that didnt feel safe…Like discussing how I truly felt about anything among other things. I realized that all all that anger eventually settled in my heart like sediment. Solidified anger shows up as fear. Its impossible to move forward with a bunch of fear onboard – I had to unravel and de-story the fear that had become a part of me through the process of my divorce. Working on doing THAT led me to….

Lesson #3 Forgiveness is Essential. I cant truly move forward in my life without forgiveness. Beyond fault finding, beyond grief, beyond anger, remorse, self-punishment and the rest….I found that forgiveness was patiently waiting for me. In order to move forward I needed to forgive myself and forgive her as well. There are no shortcuts, substitutes or excuses. Its a proven fact – Unforgiveness will shorten your life. As long as you feel like you have a good reason for holding on to your lack of forgiveness, you can never be truly free. Through forgiveness I eventually learned to see her as another Divine being having a human experience. Through my work with forgiveness I got to the place where I honestly am thankful for my ex and for all that we shared and for everything that I learned as a result of our time together. Working with forgiveness led to …

Lesson #4 Gratitude is a Gateway. A simple, yet life changing practice was the establishment of a Gratitude Journal. Each day I write down at least 10 things that Im grateful for. On those days when I cannot seem to make the first step in a direction toward anything remotely resembling positivity, this simple, powerful act of literally ‘counting’ my blessings gently leads me toward a place of mental and spiritual clarity and proves to be a tremendously effective act of self love and healing. Someone much wiser than I said that its impossible to be thankful and depressed at the same time. I believe this wholeheartedly.

What lessons is your pain trying to teach you? How often have you repeated the same history, over and over again? Have you made oaths and vows to your own hurt and pain? Still Angry? Hurt?

Do you find yourself having the same OLD arguments in a different relationship with a different person? Are you tormented by the same OLD fears, in your new relationship?

In Abundant Love,

Richard

The Hips Don’t Lie….Waist beads from the Masculine Perspective

July 5, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

We were walking through the store shopping – my wife reached up to get something off a shelf and I caught a brief glimpse of the iridescent fire of her waist beads around her hips.

She turned around and noticed my smile, her raised eyebrow and musical laugh letting me know without words that she felt my gaze upon her…and she loved it.

In that moment in particular I thought about how much I enjoy seeing them on her and wondered how many men are missing out on a fantastic opportunity to bring a similar type of magic into their own lives.

Bro – you NEED to gift your woman with some waist beads. Like yesterday.

First a little background on waist beads for those not in the know; The practice of women wearing waist beads as adornment originated in Africa about 500BC – which means that the wearing of waist beads is not a new ‘fad’ or something that just occurred yesterday. Waist beads have been around for thousands of years and used by women the world over as a form of spiritual protection, to promote healthy pregnancies and birth, as a non-verbal form of sensual communication to one’s partner and hundreds of other reasons as well. Beautiful waist beads and feminine curves are literally made for each other. There is nothing sexier than seeing my wife, Namaste walk through our bedroom with her curves draped in iridescent, delicate strands of femininity.

Your whole world will be graced with a deeper level of beauty and passion when you adorn your woman’s waist and hips with sets of waist beads. Here’s five reasons why:

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Your whole world will be graced with a deeper level of beauty and passion when you adorn your woman’s waist and hips with sets of waist beads. Here’s five reasons why:

1. She will look amazing… When I look at my wife one of the first things that I notice is how the delicate strands of beads draw attention to her softness and accentuate her natural curves. When a woman feels beautiful and feminine she is like the sun – she literally glows and the rays of her personal energy shine on all that she touches and everyone around her. Support her in her feminine power and beauty by taking an active interest in that process – not only are the waist beads beautiful, but every time she wears a set that you selected it will make her smile and think of you. Remember how AWESOME your world is when she’s smiling. Yes, a smiling woman is a Good Thing.

2. Versatility to match her mood or style… Waistbeads can be worn in a number of different ways that can compliment her personal style and preference. They can be worn under her clothes to enhance her personal sense of beauty and femininity, or slightly exposed when paired with low-waist jeans, pants or short tops. They can be worn over her clothing like a belt or as ornamentation, or she can even wear them fully exposed with a bathing suit at the beach or pool.

3. Amazing Metaphysical properties… When different crystals and gemstones are incorporated into the style of the waist beads, they transmit energy to the woman wearing them. My wife has different sets that she wears at different times to inspire creativity, passion and prosperity – the potential combinations are endless. Here’s a short list of different semi-precious stones and crystals and the energy that they bring to the wearer;

Malachite is green and promotes prosperity
Obsidian is black and is a good grounding stone and promotes feelings of safety
Carnelian is reddish orange color and promotes a strong and healthy libido and sensuality
Moonstone is white/iridescent – promotes calmness, feminine energy, peace
Rose Quartz ranges from pale pink to deep shades of rose and promotes healing the heart from pain and disappointment.
Lapis is blue and helps with opening of the third eye – promotes deep clarity, insight and intuition

These are only a tiny sampling of the many different crystals and stones that can be incorporated into a waist bead set.

4. Supercharge her sensuality…. The energy of the beads and their location on her body honor her sexuality. The delicate beauty of the waistbeads around the waist or worn down low around the hips possess intimate appeal and can provoke intense desire. The waist and hip area are especially intimate – unlike other ‘social’ areas of the body, a woman’s waist-to-hip area is seldom seen by the general public and rarely touched casually. A gift of waist beads for your woman is an amazingly personal and thoughtful gesture – the delicate caress of the beads in such an private and sensitive area of the body is a constant reminder of the intimacy that the two of you share. I can’t keep my hands off her when she has on her waist beads. (and she always has a set on, so YES I’m one of the happiest men that I know.) When we are out running errands and I put my arm around her, I can feel the stands of beads against her skin, hidden from view. Hotness.

5. Celebrate her distinctive and unique taste…..Waist beads offer a unique combination of creativity, beauty and value that is unmatched by any other adornment that you can gift her with. If you go to a jeweler and purchase a ring, necklace or bracelet, the color, size and shape of the piece has already been determined in the mind of the jewelry designer and mass produced. With custom waist beads this is never an issue. No two sets of beads are exactly alike. The waist bead sets that adorn your woman are a literal expression of YOU and can reflect your unique relationship and personality!

Namaste is a genius at combining various stones and crystals together in a beautiful arrangement of wearable art for the woman in your life! Check out her Etsy Store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/DesiredThingz or for custom orders/questions you can email us at richardandnamaste@gmail.com

We Will Not Forget

May 26, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

“On behalf of the President of the United States and the Chief of Naval Operations, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s service to this Country and a grateful Navy.” “God bless you and this family, and God bless the United States of America.”

And with those words, the young Naval officer solemnly placed the folded casket flag into my arms. My heart broke with the emotion of the moment as I clutched the flag to my heart and the tears poured down my face – he slowly saluted, nodded to me and he and the other honor guard solemnly and slowly exited the tent erected over the gravesite of my father. This was July 5th, 2011 – the day after Independence Day when my Dad was laid to rest in the same cemetery next to my Mom who was buried there 13 years earlier.

Selective blindness… sometimes we can look right at a thing for so long it doesn’t register on our consciousness. For years I’ve seen the familiar tricorner shape of american flags in their ceremonial display boxes, the deep blue of the flag contrasting with the crisp white stars. I’ve seen them here and there all my life, in offices, on shelves, in display cabinets and in the office backgrounds of various people being interviewed on television. Long ago, I remember thinking something trite like ‘how cool is that’ or idly wondering how someone came to possess such a thing. I’ve also heard of ceremonial flags given or awarded as keepsakes after they are flown briefly above a state or national capitol building. Beyond a cursory glance I never gave the provenance of these folded flags much thought. Until I received this tricornered flag which now enjoys a special place of honor in my home.

Today, I recognize that the flag that Im seeing most often is the ceremonial flag, due to the small triangle. The ceremonial flag measures 3’x5′. A military casket flag by comparison measures 9.5’x5′ and when it is folded properly, lengthwise and then folded again, it can be folded in the triangle pattern exactly 13 times. Typically it is taken from the casket of a fallen soldier and folded by an honor guard at the gravesite and then presented to the next of kin with all the gravity and solemnity of that ceremony – Once folded in this way, it is never to be unfolded again.

It is a wonderful, majestic thing to see the honor, love and care that goes into the military homegoing ceremony and the experience is indelibly etched into my memory.

I am seriously proud of my Dad, that he served with honor in the Navy. And on this annual day of remembrance – this Memorial Day, I also am proud and honored to be a part of a much larger, extended family. This particular family is special and different, being comprised of those that are known to me and also thousands and thousands of people – faces that I do not know and probably never will. I love them all anyway and I celebrate and honor them today as well. We are bound together by this memento of our shared history – that our kin are now laid to rest in honor and we have this folded flag as a symbol of their service and also to mark their passing from this life.

For all who have served, who are currently in service or have laid down their lives in defense of our country – we love and remember you this day.

Rest well, Pops. I love you.

From the Masculine – Why you need to do your Art.

April 21, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

I want to see you.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

In your kitchen you have the ingredients to make a cake – but those ingredients by themselves will not suddenly become a delicious cake unless you put the effort into combining them together in the right proportions and set the stage for their eventual becoming.

Until and unless that transformation occurs, we cannot fully enjoy that cake. On your bookshelf you have any number of containers of wisdom, distilled from the thoughts of many, many wonderful people, the knowledge contained therein is waiting to be liberated – but unless we crack that book open and soak up the concepts and ideas that are on the pages – its just an idea. Again – effort is necessary for transformation.

But when you have an artistic practice – when you work your magic in which you can express your wonderful uniqueness in a special way, a medium that allows the light that is within you to become visible in the world. What kind of art?
Anything at all that allows the beauty of your soul to escape and be seen…and celebrated, that is a precious gift to the world that is so necessary, so vital to elevating your vibration and allowing your precious self to be seen as the unique woman that you truly are.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever – once you have birthed this beautiful creation into the world, your inner light takes wing and remains in flight forever. You have enabled the transformation and as a result that creation requires no further effort. Your Art forever inspires…all we need do is look at it.

That is beautiful.
YOU are beautiful.

Don’t hide yourself away.
Let me see you.

Love,

~Richard

Are you thirsty?

April 16, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

Are you thirsty?

Thirst is a natural phenomenon.

It is the bodies way of letting us know that we are dehydrated that we are in need of one of life’s most fundamental elements we need water, moisture refreshment.

I’ve noticed the term being used in some circles with a measure of scorn

As if to be thirsty is synonymous with being less than, and to want something, to desire anything is an overt admission of weakness, of lack and ultimately of being a failure.

Isn’t it interesting that when we are thirsty in a very literal sense that we readily soak up the brightly colored images, our mouth is open for massive waves of effervescent juices and waters to flow over us to quench our thirst

We can almost taste it when we imagine it.

And that is a Good Thing.

I have a thirsty soul.

I have a hungry heart.

Are you hungry?

Hungry to feel his deep rich laughter vibrate inside you as he holds you in his arms

Thirsty to feel his gaze upon only you to feel that place in your heart slowly uncoiling, opening

Hungry for the heat of that love warming you to the core as you languidly stretch and relax in the warmth of that deep love opening up to him like a blossom turning its face to the sun.

Is that weakness?

I have a thirsty soul. I have a hungry heart.

Im hungry to bask in the music of her laughter

Her beautiful eyes tell me how much she believes in me

Within my embrace I feel her opening to me

Sharing with me her secrets, her whispered sigh in my ear –

she is my oasis she quenches my thirst with the refreshment of her essence.

Is that weakness?

Being thirsty isn’t for the weak

hunger isn’t for the desperate

It is truly what elevates the strong and makes us what we truly are

thirst is the motivator

Stay thirsty my friends? Fuck that.

Open your mouth state your desires

Open your heart get fed.

For everyone that seeks, finds.

Keep knocking until that door opens

Open your mouth so that it may be filled

Open your heart so you may be fed.

That’s not weakness. That’s righteousness.

P.S. – Out of Romantic Ideas? Now you have 101 of them – click here to download my free e-book!!!

If this resonates with you and your Feminine essence is in need of transformative healing go here….

My Life as a D*ck…..

January 31, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

LOL.

Just kidding.

well, maybe not….see Namaste recently wrote a piece on spending 24 hours as a clitoris and what that would entail from her deliciously feminine perspective.

I read it and I was amazed – what a beautiful piece of writing!

Jokingly, I suggested that I write a companion piece concerning what spending 24 hours as a Di…er, penis might entail.

Of course she thought it was an excellent idea – a bookend piece to her post about spending 24 hours as a clitoris. I laughed and almost immediately started to back pedal away from the prospect of writing this blog post.

Which surprized me and got me curious as to what was going on internally with me. I found myself wondering – why the automatic resistance? After all, my penis has been my friend for as long as I’ve been…well ME. What would be so difficult about imagining myself as this wonderful facet of myself for 24 hours?

Still, when faced with the prospect of waxing philosophical about what it would mean to truly embody that penile essence for 24 hours, I found myself recoiling a bit.

Perhaps because unlike the clitoris, which is spoken about in hushed almost reverential terms…the penis hasn’t enjoyed a similar reputation.

In fact – most of what I know and read concerning the penis has a distinct pejorative flair. In articles the penis is almost always depicted either in a neutral clinical sense or described in sexually negative terms. When I was growing up it was considered a serious insult to be referred to as a Dick, doing something incredibly stupid and/or unnecessarily aggressive was described as a ‘dick move’. In short, we grew up trying to avoid being a penis, being depicted or described as a penis or acting in penis like ways as much as possible.

Interestingly enough, I don’t remember questioning the prevailing wisdom, asking why being a dick was so terrible or ever hearing anyone of my male friends ask why this was true or why penises were persona non grata. It was just assumed that being a penis was the height of low-ness, or something horrible or bad.

And we believed it.

Wheaton’s Law is an internet axiom which states “Don’t be a dick.” It was originally used in the context of sportsmanship in online gaming but its scope was eventually expanded to apply to life in general.

I get it from a sportsmanship standpoint – sportsmanship is important, and acting contra wise to that would be a Bad Thing. It sucks to be in a gaming situation with someone who is acting out and being an ass in general…but again with the penis as pejorative it begs the question. We all understand the characteristics of being a Dick..but an actual penis doesn’t possess any of those traits when I really give it some thought.

If the penis was a person, growing up mocked, ridiculed and despised generally…while at the same time being indispensable, irreplaceable and generally relied upon for pleasure by practically everyone that has one, and most people that DONT have one on the entire freaking planet….

Well.. how would YOU feel in those circumstances.

Angry? Irritated? Incredibly powerful yet seriously under appreciated?

I mean, where is the love for the penis?!?

I realize there are a host of environmental, hormonal and emotional contributors to the rise of ED among males of all ages.

At the same time, I really feel that the energetic component of the ED phenomenon cannot be ignored or underestimated. I would imagine the penis would feel some kinda way about continually being used, quite literally – without ever being celebrated or thanked or held in positive regard for its many, many wonderful contributions to what it means to be human.

Most of us, were we in a similar situation would have stopped working long ago. Is it at ALL surprising that so many penises have decided to Just Say No? Or engage in other ways of expressing extreme disappointment with working conditions, e.g. periodic strikes, work slowdowns, power outages and the like.

Its a horrible situation for millions of men – but honestly, I can understand.

So I guess its up to me.

What if I did decide to go through my life as a Dick for just 24 hours.

To be the embodiment of masculinity, virile and potent

While simultaneously being vulnerable and tender.

As actualized masculine essence – Enthusiatically and vigorously inserting myself directly into situations that feel good to me, that bring me pleasure.

Avoiding or literally not responding at all to that which is not good for me or for me…avoiding those situations that are tense, are upstream or not pleasurable.

Instead, I dive deeply into wondrous and mysterious places and situations again and again enthusiastically and passionately..

what was previously closed to me is now open, expectant and waiting for my arrival – everything is prepared for my ease and comfort, no detail has been neglected

I move with ease through a world that receives me openly, deliciously and responds to my every movement with waves of acceptance and reflects my pleasure back to me multiplied and expansive.

When I am where I should be, where I need to be, where I want to be – I feel invincible and magnificent. Nothing comes close to how wonderful I feel.

In truth, I belong right here, right now – the situations and circumstances in which I find myself are literally tailor made for me – the most comfortable and delicious fit imaginable and noticing how exciting that is to me.

I am committed to only taking inspired action – and enthusiastically rising to the occasion at the right time!

I also effortlessly let things that no longer serve me pass through me, I don’t hold onto things past their time.

I am in love with my Purpose and I look forward expectantly to each opportunity to actualize my Purpose in this time and space.

Fully inhabiting this space, being the penis with all the potentiality of that energy and the intensity of this experience….is a Good Thing. Seriously!

If every man was truly and authentically a Dick. The world would be a much better off as a result.

So my advice – Be A Dick. You owe it to yourself.

Getting Out Of The Hurt Locker

January 15, 2014 by Richard Leave a Comment

There is a code of silence around the phenomenon of hurt, particularly what it does to men and how it affects communication. Talking with my Namaste this morning – I read an article describing how Men respond to their wives when they experience their disappointment or disapproval. To give a quick thumbnail – Guy does A, thinking that it will be pleasing to her.

And it doesn’t work. She doesn’t like the gift, she hates his choice of restaurant…the flowers he brought are ‘um…nice’…but she was really hoping for a different flower than the kind he purchased, and it shows on her face and in her choice of words.

When this happens, a few things occur almost immediately, much of which is below the emotional ‘water line’ of visible responses from him. First, he goes through a range of complex feelings in an instant; surprise that the ‘gift’ of whatever wasn’t received well, the pang of pain that she’s not happy, and probably irritation at having failed at pleasing her. If she picks up on his disappointment, as shown in his face or in his energy she may attempt to soothe him by trying to educate him on what he could have done differently. This scenario is fraught with tension on both sides and in the face of the tension, one or both parties may be on the lookout for a quick escape. He’ll withdraw internally, relying on the masculine skill set of masking pain with careful neutrality…he begins to go internal. Even though he’s still present physically, from an energetic place he’s not really a full participant in the encounter going forward- having retreated to ‘safety’ inside his head, he is now observing his life from his own internal ‘observation deck’.. Sure, you nod in the right places, respond with a half smile to something you’d normally consider hilarious…you contribute just enough energy to the conversation to keep things moving along. You are partly present, but most of your attention is directed internally. Above all, you absolutely DONT want to make things worse by triggering some sort of ‘what’s wrong’ type question from her.

Men thrive on acceptance and respect – and from birth we have been socialized that making women happy, especially OUR women (girlfriends, wives, moms) happy is essential to our own feelings of emotional well-being. As a result, when she expresses that she isn’t pleased, he doesn’t feel good. Additionally, her rejection of his efforts to please her and the subsequent ‘correction’ from her indicate to him that she doesn’t respect his ability to make decisions. As a result, many men come away from these experiences either consciously or unconsciously declaring an emotional ‘no fly zone’ over the area of the disagreement. How does this show up? – Instead of buying the ‘correct’ flowers – he might stop buying her flowers entirely, or he will buy them, but it will never be a surprise – he’ll ask for her input and will avoid inserting himself into the creative process. Instead of being adventurous and trying new restaurants with her, he will instead rely exclusively on her picking out where they are going to eat and looks to her for direction in an effort to avoid future disappointments.

All of the above are symptomatic of something else entirely, which is the fact that he was both disappointed and hurt by her response to his offering. The worst thing? He never communicated anything about how he felt. Being hurt, experiencing hurt is an experience that is largely internal for most men. We rarely admit to hurting about anything and as a result the emotions associated with ‘hurt’ are something that we teach ourselves to ignore, press down, minimize. Admitting hurt is also to be vulnerable – we don’t want that. The women in our lives don’t associate it with us either, as a result the concept of emotional hurt becomes one that has been gender identified as being almost exclusively female in experience and effect. When discussing this with my namaste, I was very surprised to find out that although in my mind I had experienced and communicated things that I felt hurt by any number of times, in the over 10 years that we’ve known each other, she could only recall TWO times in over 10 years that I’ve actually vocalized that I’d been hurt by something, a situation, an action that was taken by her or something that she had said.

Two times in 10 years.

I was shocked. I consider myself to be an emotionally mature person and one that is reasonably proficient at expressing myself, in using words as a bridge between my own internal emotional landscape and the world around me, particularly in talking about how I feel in our relationship. As I thought about what she said, I realized that over the years I’ve been really, really good at keeping my hurt hidden from view. When I’ve attempted to communicate how something hurt me, I’ve rarely if ever copped to the feeling – the emotion of being hurt – instead she’s understood my hurt through the lens of my irritation, my anger or some altruistic appeal to an ideal of ‘fairness’ e.g. “I don’t ever say X to you, why would you say that to me?” Which is completely different from a direct statement of; “when you say X to me that hurt”. I apparently have feelings – but why is it when the issue of communicating those feelings comes up I resort to the use of defensive tools like anger, irritation or blame instead of actually OWNING my own feelings? They are mine, after all.

Stack Overflow

In the world of computer programming, a stack overflow situation occurs when a program attempts to use more space than is available (that is, when it attempts to access memory beyond the call stack’s bounds, which is essentially a buffer overflow), the stack is said to overflow, typically resulting in a program crash. I believe that many men experience a similar phenomenon from an emotional standpoint in relation to how we are wired to share our hurts. It is typically when we are said to be ‘truly hurting’ – when the hurt seems to multiply upon itself, when we literally run out of space to store pain internally and we are starting to crash, our literal ‘stack overflow’ situation happens to us and it is only THEN that we feel that we can allow our hurts to be addressed. Actually I think most of us aren’t ‘allowing’ much in that moment – for most, it happens that the situation is sufficiently serious that we can’t hide, we can’t hold it in. cant help it…we just erupt. If you’ve ever seen men caught in the grip of overwhelming tragedy or grief, you’ve seen this happen. We literally come apart with wrenching agony – undoubtedly painful to experience…. it can also be painful to watch. Our struggle to maintain the illusion that we do not hurt contributes to the wreckage in my opinion – in the face of the overwhelming, our safeguards crumble and because of our ’stack overflow’ we…crash. What makes it even more traumatic is that most of us attempt even in our most painful moments, to try and keep it hidden from view and it is usually our inability to hide it that is the alarm that alerts someone external to us to reach out in compassion and hold space for us.

Reclaiming our humanity

Effectiveness is the measure of truth, as the Huna saying goes – and to find out what will be effective I believe that we have a number of clear examples if we look at how women communicate. Have you ever noticed how women attend to someone who is hurt? Often in the case of disagreement or disappointment a statement of hurt given by the person that has been wounded results in an automatic ‘time out’ and a reassessment of what is going on. There’s an immediate cease fire at which time the hurt is addressed and then once the hurt has been addressed the two women involved then give themselves permission to go on with the discussion. It is often the case that the process used to address the hurt feelings unearths enough common ground that the disagreement can be resolved and there is no need to go back to the discussion again. In my opinion, there is something that we as men can learn from this example and it is a subtle truth.

Women in our lives are already sensitized to an expression of hurt, Im missing a beautiful opportunity to get closer to her when I hide my hurt from her. As a man, I need to get out of the Hurt Locker in my head and let her know how Im feeling, especially when Im feeling sad, upset, angry or hurt. I need to resist the temptation to only communicate during good times and to shut off and ‘go internal’ during times when Im hurting. Real Talk – my lack of emotional transparency turns out to be a negative, self fulfilling prophecy. Like attracts like – if I intentionally hide my emotions from the person that loves me, then I have to also hold myself responsible for the sense of isolation that is the inevitable result of my getting really good at hiding. Similar to the childhood game of hide and seek – being TOO good at hiding actually defeats the purpose of the game. Imagine her finishing the countdown and going to look for you – and never ever finding you! I can’t imagine a more emotionally traumatizing game of hide and seek! And yet, for many of us isn’t this how our relationships have evolved? – the male emotional epitaph reads years later..”and He was never heard from again!”

Initiate…dont Instigate

The word instigate is commonly used to mean initiate – but I believe there is an important distinction between these two words. Initiate means to be the first to do something, as in “I felt something hurt me and I opened the dialogue with her about it” Instigate is another word that means ‘to begin’ – but the energy it holds is different – it fundamentally means to incite others to do something, e.g. “I felt something she said hurt me and Im not going to just sit here and take it – we need to talk…..” Can you sense the difference between those two states of mind? You want to initiate conversation about what’s going on with you internally. That’s YOU taking the initiative – being the first to talk about how you feel. That’s owning your emotions…and sharing them. On the other hand, responding to a perceived hurt by instigating a fact-finding commission to establish blame is very different experience energetically. The blame game will not draw you closer together, in fact most of the time the hurt feelings on both sides after a round of ‘Who’s Fault is It!’ are often worse.

Understand that just like in the development of any sort of meaningful skill set, it takes a while before you get good at it. You’ve spent a long time not communicating effectively about many of your internal emotions – it may be harder before it gets easier, but stay with it. Most men’s ’emotional spice cabinet’ contain the equivalent of three basics – sugar,(pleased) salt (displeased) and pepper (angry), which are wonderful spices in their own right, understand that it will take a while to build up an inventory of spices that can be useful in cooking a broad variety of emotional ‘meals’. There are hundreds of different kinds of sugar, and thousands of varieties of salt and pepper, not to mention the thousands of other emotional nuances/spices that are available for your use. But you have to use them to get good at this. Be patient with yourself, but most of all its important to initiate. YOU need to be the person to bring it up FIRST, to start a dialogue on how you are feeling. A consistent lament we hear most often from female clients is their longing for the men in their lives to open up and to communicate with them about how they (Men) feel.

And that is a good enough place to begin. Want to instantly improve your relationship? Start working on opening up, owning your feelings and sharing what’s going on inside you with the woman that loves you – this one act will be rewarding in contentment and happiness in your relationship far beyond anything you could ever bring to her as a gift or the trappings of a special occasion. Letting her truly see you and taking the time to share with her how you truly feel inside, especially when you are hurting is a rare and special gift that she will always cherish. She will feel closer to you as a result and will open to you in response. And from a sustainability perspective – this opportunity is always available to you, truly a renewable resource.

Theres only one handle on the Hurt Locker – and its on the inside. You want out? Open up.

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Richard

We have become a nation of people who constantly define ourselves by opposition Click To Tweet – by ready identification with what we DONT want, or what we DONT prefer.

Whatever your dream, nothing would stop you from tirelessly working to achieve your goal even if it meant foregoing certain pleasures and taking extra classes.

The big IF is whether or not you are willing to do the work to have that amazing relationship.

The SECRET is – work on it before you have to.

This seems like magic – but it’s a skill.

Breathing Exercises

People who need to be right have little patience for others.

If you cant say ‘Amen‘ then say ‘ouch‘ as my pastor used to say!!

There’s a difference between ‘right’ and ‘self righteousness’.

“On behalf of the President of the United States and the Chief of Naval Operations, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s service to this Country and a grateful Navy.” “God bless you and this family, and God bless the United States of America.”

It is a wonderful, majestic thing to see the honor, love and care that goes into the military homegoing ceremony and the experience is indelibly etched into my memory.

For all who have served, who are currently in service or have laid down their lives in defense of our country – we love and remember you this day.

Rest well, Pops. I love you.

I want to see you.

That is beautiful. YOU are beautiful.

Don’t hide yourself away. Let me see you.

LOL.

Just kidding.

well, maybe not….see Namaste recently wrote a piece on spending 24 hours as a clitoris and what that would entail from her deliciously feminine perspective.

I read it and I was amazed – what a beautiful piece of writing!

Jokingly, I suggested that I write a companion piece concerning what spending 24 hours as a Di…er, penis might entail.

Of course she thought it was an excellent idea – a bookend piece to her post about spending 24 hours as a clitoris. I laughed and almost immediately started to back pedal away from the prospect of writing this blog post.

Still, when faced with the prospect of waxing philosophical about what it would mean to truly embody that penile essence for 24 hours, I found myself recoiling a bit.

Perhaps because unlike the clitoris, which is spoken about in hushed almost reverential terms…the penis hasn’t enjoyed a similar reputation.

And we believed it.

Wheaton’s Law is an internet axiom which states “Don’t be a dick.” It was originally used in the context of sportsmanship in online gaming but its scope was eventually expanded to apply to life in general.

If the penis was a person, growing up mocked, ridiculed and despised generally…while at the same time being indispensable, irreplaceable and generally relied upon for pleasure by practically everyone that has one, and most people that DONT have one on the entire freaking planet….

Well.. how would YOU feel in those circumstances.

Angry? Irritated? Incredibly powerful yet seriously under appreciated?

I mean, where is the love for the penis?!?

I realize there are a host of environmental, hormonal and emotional contributors to the rise of ED among males of all ages.

Its a horrible situation for millions of men – but honestly, I can understand.

So I guess its up to me.

What if I did decide to go through my life as a Dick for just 24 hours.

To be the embodiment of masculinity, virile and potent

While simultaneously being vulnerable and tender.

As actualized masculine essence – Enthusiatically and vigorously inserting myself directly into situations that feel good to me, that bring me pleasure.

Avoiding or literally not responding at all to that which is not good for me or for me…avoiding those situations that are tense, are upstream or not pleasurable.

Instead, I dive deeply into wondrous and mysterious places and situations again and again enthusiastically and passionately..

what was previously closed to me is now open, expectant and waiting for my arrival – everything is prepared for my ease and comfort, no detail has been neglected

I move with ease through a world that receives me openly, deliciously and responds to my every movement with waves of acceptance and reflects my pleasure back to me multiplied and expansive.

When I am where I should be, where I need to be, where I want to be – I feel invincible and magnificent. Nothing comes close to how wonderful I feel.

In truth, I belong right here, right now – the situations and circumstances in which I find myself are literally tailor made for me – the most comfortable and delicious fit imaginable and noticing how exciting that is to me.

I am committed to only taking inspired action – and enthusiastically rising to the occasion at the right time!

I also effortlessly let things that no longer serve me pass through me, I don’t hold onto things past their time.

I am in love with my Purpose and I look forward expectantly to each opportunity to actualize my Purpose in this time and space.

Fully inhabiting this space, being the penis with all the potentiality of that energy and the intensity of this experience….is a Good Thing. Seriously!

If every man was truly and authentically a Dick. The world would be a much better off as a result.

So my advice – Be A Dick. You owe it to yourself.

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We have become a nation of people who constantly define ourselves by opposition

Click To Tweet

– by ready identification with what we DONT want, or what we DONT prefer.

That is beautiful.
YOU are beautiful.

Don’t hide yourself away.
Let me see you.