Suffering from ‘No’ Overuse? Being Positive is Masculine

No is a complete sentence – but I think its like the super cayenne that we use in our kitchen. Used appropriately it adds spice and clarifies boundaries. Too much too often and it overpowers everything in the dish.

For some of us – positivity, or having a positive attitude seems a lot like weakness.

We’ve identified so strongly with our struggles that the expressions on our faces most of the time look like we are in a Ice Cube lookalike contest and we are winning.

Our faces say to the world (and more importantly to our families) “Aint nothing funny – life is hard.” (if you truly believe this then Im not going to lie to you – it will be true and your life will be hard – real talk – but that’s a subject for another day)

RemoverPurp112Being preoccupied with the negative each and every day has a …well, NEGATIVE effect on your relationships.

Yes, she’s ride or die – she aint going no where and neither are you.

She accepts you just the way you are – that’s a good thing right?

Of course…but exactly HOW are you really, when it comes to positivity and laughter??

Are you included when something is funny? Or is everyone so used to the fact that you never laugh that they dont even try?

Do the kids pretty much know that you’ll ‘say no’ – no matter what the question is?

Does she have to wait until you are in a ‘better mood’ – because your everyday is ‘bad mood’?

Whens the last time you truly laughed…long and hard…about anything?

If you cant remember – you need to break the glass, pull the alarm and inject some humor and more fun into your life.

Im not suggesting you put on a clown suit and run around trying to be the next Kevin Hart.

In fact – comedy is an art, so on the real – Im not suggesting you even try to BE funny, at all.

I’m just reminding you that there are a LOT of funny things around you. Life can be hilarious – find the funny. Youtube your favorite comic, watch a movie, listen to a comedy podcast. Look for some funny shyt to laugh at. Turn off the news for a while.

If you havent laughed for a minute, its going to feel strange…but hang in there, it will get better if you keep at it.

And there are health benefits too. Lower blood pressure, reduced risk of heart issues, improved circulation, endorphins in your bloodstream, sex is better, food tastes better….the list goes on and on.

Finally – positive is sexy as hell.

Everybody has 10,000 reasons to be unhappy – scowling faces are as common as table salt.

Be UNIQUE.

A man that has a smile on his face invites instant attraction. Women are always curious – she may not want to know what you’re irritated about, but she definitely wants to know what you are SMILING about.

MANIFEST the positive.

Want to be Free ? Here’s how…

Freedom from or Freedom toIf you take a moment and apply the idea I am going to share with you to how you think about your life, the opinions you hold and the decisions that you make, you will absolutely change your life for the better and it will only take you a few minutes to do so.

Like the ubiquitous pixelated jet plane poster of the early 90’s – once you see this, its difficult to ‘un-see’ it again.

This will change your life.

One of the songs I remember from my childhood was the “one of these things dont belong here” song that was often sung by various characters on the PBS show, Sesame Street.
Whenever that bit came on, we watched it – hypnotized by the simple melody and transfixed by the idea that we could solve the problem of the picture, idea or thing that ‘Doesnt Belong Here’ before the singers Song Was Done. Remember that?
The lyric was simple and catchy – the melody was the ultimate mental velcro….aside from the melody to Happy Birthday, the One of These Things song HAS to be the most recognizable and mentally STICKY melodies in song history.

And we learned the lesson.

Through that song, the efforts of our parents and other people we loved and respected, we learned to identify with what we were in opposition to as a method of figuring out what we believed, felt or preferred about pretty much everything.

We have a long and storied history of accomplishment based upon the rapid identification of What’s Wrong With This Picture.
Or other variants of What’s Missing, What’s Different or What’s Wrong.

As a result, even as adults, most of us are still playing that game and we continue to use that method of thinking for damn near everything.

Whenever most people are asked what they believe, what they prefer or how they feel – they find it difficult to articulate our preferences in a positive fashion. By this I mean that we seldom have the words to articulate or explain just WHY we prefer X idea, item or situation over Y or Z idea, item or situation based upon the POSITIVE merits of X, Y or Z.

Instead, just like in the Sesame Street game – we repeatedly rely on our skill in deductive reasoning;

I like X because I absolutely hate Y.

I love the Bears because I hate the Packers.

I love eating healthy foods because I hate high fructose corn syrup, Monsanto and processed foods.

We may feel like we have identified something positive about ourselves and our world view by once again skillfully pointing out the negative.
Over and Over and Over again.

– by ready identification with what we DONT want, or what we DONT prefer.

What is less commonly known or understood is that this way of looking at the world and ones place in it is a stunningly effective means of insuring that one’s life is WAY more difficult than it has to be.

Constant identification with what is NOT desired is rooted in a LACK mentality – which only brings more LACK into your life.

We live in a universe that is constantly responding to our desires, bringing us more and more of what we dwell on, what we think about and what we truly believe.

And this is taking place all the time.

Every single day.

We get what we focus on – and when our worldview is firmly fixated on identification of what we DONT want…well, we tend to get MORE of that, whatever it is.

Getting your head around this idea takes a moment.

You may have been brought up to believe that you are just a leaf being tossed about by the winds of life.

Its not true.  You are actually amazingly efficient and powerful – and you are constantly using that very power to bring things into your experience.

We (Namaste and I) have spent years looking at this, turning this concept around and implementing it in our lives.

Words are important – your words become the clearest avenue into understanding what you truly believe about yourself and about your life.

Once we realized this truth – once it really sunk in…we began to pay much closer attention to the things that we said to each other and about ourselves.

The very next thing was to try to boil this concept down to something that could be easily understood and shared with everyone we knew.

We began to focus on how to crystallize this down to a thought form that is manageable and easily understood.

That was the birth of the idea of  Freedom From Vs Freedom To.

Are you amazingly good at the One of These Things game in your own life? Do you usually focus your attention on what you DONT want, DONT prefer or spend time musing about The Worst That Could Happen?

That’s Freedom From thinking…. the idea of trying to get somewhere positive by identification of what you are in OPPOSITION TO, you DONT want, or want to be free FROM.

Some examples are:

“I want to be Free from Poverty”

“I want to be Free from Disease”

“I want to be Free from Racism/Sexism and a host of other isms!”

Freedom from has it’s place – the pain of what you desire to be free from can be an incredible catalyst to change – it can by the energetic alarm clock that wakes you up. And, much like an alarm clock  – once you’ve awakened you need to  – TURN IT OFF.

What do you need to turn to?

Freedom To.

Freedom to is more of an expansive vision, worldview and palette of preference. People with a freedom to perspective tend to look at what is, or even might be possible in any given circumstance.
As a result Freedom To people tend to identify more with what they DO want – and their lives reflect that simple truth.

Lets take a look at our earlier examples through a Freedom To lens;

Im a Democrat because of these factors that appeal to me about being a Democrat.
No need to bash Repubs or anyone else for that matter – what the other parties do or dont stand for is irrelevant.
Im a feminist because of X positive things that cause feminism to appeal to me and make me feel good. No need whatsoever to bash Men.
Im into making healthy food choices because I feel better when I do so….in fact I have a hundred reasons why I feel better, and I can talk about those things without blasting the Monsanto corporation, fast food or sugar.

There are a million examples on how to do this.
Can you see the difference?
Everything comes down to Freedom TO vs Freedom FROM.
Get better at identifying what you think, prefer and believe from a positive place of what you actually LOVE instead of what you OPPOSE.

By doing this you attract more of what you WANT to be Free TO do, have, experience.

Trust me – You’ll begin to feel better almost immediately as a result – and you’ll begin to see the results of this tangibly!

If you’d like to know more about working with us to get yourself FIRMLY on the track of Freedom to and uplevel your life schedule a FREE discovery session.

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

How to find Fulfillment By Being Feminine

Find Fulfillment by being feminineHey there darlings!

Scrolling through cable, the internet or social media one thing becomes obvious,  women today are so stressed! We have the education, the career, the freedom – and yet often find fulfillment so elusive.

Fulfillment means to make satisfying, and while we can acquire a great deal of things, satisfaction is an inside job.

When a woman steps into her Feminine energy she experiences fulfillment.

And here’s the potent part darling- it happens regardless of what’s going on around her.

In order to step into your Feminine energy – start by being a ROSE.

 

R Receive – Feminine energy is receptive. While masculine energy is giving – feminine energy is best expressed in receiving. Allow others to do things for you. An example is the next time the cashier asks if you’d like help out (They still do that here in TX) say “Yes!”. Look around you for ways to receive daily –just by turning your attention to receiving you’ll suddenly discover all of the opportunities available to you!

 

OOrgasm – Having more orgasms can help you create and occupy a deeper feminine space. Orgasms are good on every level. On top of deliciously intense pleasure, we get a delightful cocktail of hormones that cause us to float through our day, lower blood pressure, and give our skin a fresh dewy look. Spiritually it is creative and alchemical, connecting us to our divinity– highly Feminine!

 

SSensual – The definition of sensual I’m talking about is being connected to your senses. There are many opportunities to do this daily! Upon awakening, take a moment to truly feel the sheets against your skin. When taking a bite out of that plump ripe strawberry – really taste the intensity of the sweet tartness of it. Inhale your perfume deeply. Tune in to the sounds of the birds, the rain, your music. 

 

EEmotion – Emotion is energy in motion. Emotion is the willingness to not only allow all of your senses to perk up but to let them truly move you is to experience your energetic presence as a living visceral thing. The Feminine is energetic and moving. This can be a HUGE bonus – when we learn to work with it. Allow your emotion and don’t feel bad about FEELING.

I share more tools/tips and secrets to feminine fulfillment in SOFT – my FULL Access program for women just like you! Get a free sample here!

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

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