Learning Divorce Lessons

The Pain of Divorce

I remember the pain and agony of my divorce.

At times I thought the pain would literally kill me. 

It was like walking down a never-ending spiral staircase of razor blades steps barefoot into hell itself. 

On a good day. (holla if you know what that feels like) 

Vows….well, vows were my friends! 

I feel like such a fool, I’ll NEVER be fooled again! 

I let this happen. I will NEVER let this happen again! 

I vowed any number of times that I would never, ever be in this situation again. 

And I worked really hard at making sure I kept that promise to myself. 

Armored up….just like a Transformer, or a tank. 

Encased my heart in armor plating – nothing could get in…or out for that matter. 

I became numb. At the time I remember thinking that numbness wasn’t really what I wanted. But I felt like I had no choice. 

Numbness is better than pain, I thought. 

I choose to Go Deeper. 

I hear the sages talk about how pain can be a teacher. 

What’s interesting is that most people automatically assume that the lesson pain is teaching us is to become really, really good at AVOIDING PAIN. 

Like I did – Hence the Armor. 

Its a common misconception. 

And the Real Issue is never pain itself.  Pain is just the messenger. 

The reality is that pain draws our attention to what the real issue is. 

The 10th Law of Karma is The Law of Change. The essence of this law states that “history repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.” 

One of the ideas that broke through the fog of confusion and pain is that my steadfast commitment to NOT being in pain again wasn’t serving me. 

I also had someone who loved me unconditionally through my rage and my hurt. My Namaste.

3d render of iron-clad heart
 

Trying to avoid pain by armoring up is tantamount to avoid getting a stomachache by swearing off food.

Either one will kill you if you keep it up long enough. Die emotionally, or Die physically.

I choose to Go Deeper.

I choose to Love.

Love involves risk.  Plain and simple.

If you want to have joy in your life, you have to feel and if you want to feel you have to open up. And if you open up….

Well, you can be hurt.

My body cannot live without food.

And my heart cannot live without love.  THIS is the lesson that pain was trying to teach me.

Finally I learned to listen.

Lesson #1. Oaths and Vows are Important. –  In many faiths, distinction is made between simple promises and oaths or vows. What I didnt realize is that an oath is a promise invoking God as a witness.  In our culture de-constructing a vow (like a marriage vow) takes a shiz-ton of effort.  When I swear that I wont EVER do something again (like love, marriage etc.) That’s serious bizness. I had to do some serious work to de-story and unravel the commitment I made to the Path of Being Alone, Angry and Hurt before I could truly heal and move on to a good relationship. Speaking of Anger…

Lesson # 2 When the Anger dissipates – Fear can step in to fill its place.  Nobody can remain angry and hurt forever. Eventually it fades away….but what came in to take the place of the anger? Fear. Not a devastating phobia type of fear, just an instinctual avoidance of things that didnt feel safe…Like discussing how I truly felt about anything among other things. I realized that all all that anger eventually settled in my heart like sediment. Solidified anger shows up as fear. Its impossible to move forward with a bunch of fear onboard – I had to unravel and de-story the fear that had become a part of me through the process of my divorce. Working on doing THAT led me to….

Lesson #3 Forgiveness is Essential. I cant truly move forward in my life without forgiveness. Beyond fault finding, beyond grief, beyond anger, remorse, self-punishment and the rest….I found that forgiveness was patiently waiting for me. In order to move forward I needed to forgive myself and forgive her as well.  There are no shortcuts, substitutes or excuses. Its a proven fact – Unforgiveness will shorten your life. As long as you feel like you have a good reason for holding on to your lack of forgiveness, you can never be truly free. Through forgiveness I eventually learned to see her as another Divine being having a human experience. Through my work with forgiveness I got to the place where I honestly am thankful for my ex and for all that we shared and for everything that I learned as a result of our time together. Working with forgiveness led to …

Lesson #4 Gratitude is a Gateway.  A simple, yet life changing practice was the establishment of a Gratitude Journal. Each day I write down at least 10 things that Im grateful for. On those days when I cannot seem to make the first step in a direction toward anything remotely resembling positivity, this simple, powerful act of literally ‘counting’ my blessings gently leads me toward a place of mental and spiritual clarity and proves to be a tremendously effective act of self love and healing. Someone much wiser than I said that its impossible to be thankful and depressed at the same time. I believe this wholeheartedly.

What lessons is your pain trying to teach you? How often have you repeated the same history, over and over again? Have you made oaths and vows to your own hurt and pain? Still Angry? Hurt?

Do you find yourself having the same OLD arguments in a different relationship with a different person?  Are you tormented by the same OLD fears, in your new relationship?

In Abundant Love,

Richard

 

Inspiration and practices for times of confusion or dispair

Inspiration for Times of Despair and Confusion

Confusion guy

Sometimes we really need some inspiration. Sometimes we feel like we just don’t know what to do.

There have been some really challenging times in the course of our lives and in the process of our Living this Conscious Creation path, let me tell you it hasn’t all been Bavarian cream darlings.  In today’s video, we talk about what to do when you don’t know WHAT to do.

That’s the most difficult place, isn’t it?

It’s one thing when you’re in a situation and you know you have  options. But sometimes you really don’t know what to do – either because you are so full of despair and pain, or because it all just seems so freaking confusing.

I remember when I was making the decision to move to Austin. I had other options but I wasn’t sure which one was the RIGHT one. Not knowing that caused me sooo much angst.

We both remember when we were making the decision to divorce our former spouses.  It wasn’t that there wasn’t love there – it was a feeling of so much despair and pain and hurt that we really didn’t know WHAT to do.

You might be experiencing something like that right now. It may be big or it may be little. Either way, you need to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Title

You need a little clarity – a little inspiration.  A little something that will help the clouds clear – at least enough so you can take a breath.

Inhale. Exhale.

Sometimes that’s all you can do when you’re feeling like you don’t know what to do.

OH and smile.

Yes, I said smile.

It’s not being fake- did you know smiling has been used in studies to treat depression?

Not the plastic smile that stops at your mouth- no – the kind of smile that goes all the way up to your eyes and forms crows feet.

That kind of smile can help you lift the despair and create some space.

Check out the video below for some awesome ideas and inspiration of what to do when you really don’t know WHAT to do!

Live. Love. Lush and Fearless,

 Richard and Namaste

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

P.P.S. – Get my BEST practices absolutely free. It’s my gift to you! Click Here

Intimacy and Connection

intimacy and connection

Hey there darling,

Intimacy and Connection – if you have intimacy you have connection, right?

Wrong.

We put together this video for you because we’ve been a part of the conscious relationship community for a while now. And we’ve noticed something very disturbing around the concepts of intimacy and connection.

Namely the promotion of intimacy without connection.

Some might ask how is that even possible – but rest assured – it DEFINITELY is.

And it’s Dangerous.

Why?

Because it eventually leads to greater feelings of abandonment and rejection. Without connection (meaning to bind together) – sharing intimacy (which means to make known) we’re sharing our deepest most sacred goo in an arbitrary and somewhat haphazard manner.  And when that person no longer wants to hear it – they walk away.

Rinse repeat. Rinse repeat.

This way of moving through even casual relationships leads to an internal depletion that eventually leaves you empty and brittle. Having given so much of you to so many – when the RIGHT one comes along – you have nothing left to give. Not only that but you most likely have not learned to cultivate the art of receiving and listening – of being bound together that creates ultimately a sustainable and fulfilling relationship.

This is not to say that practices like OMing, Polyamory,  and the like are “bad”. It is to say that they need to be handled with care. Not like a kid in a candy store- but as an adult using tools.  They can build or destroy. Just like everything else.

Watch the video. Then share, comment, like.  – More to come!

Love,

~Richard and Namaste

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

If you were right here – a message to inspire

I wish you were sitting with me.

Yes, you.

Right now in this space.

I’d pour you a cup of tea, and place all of my attention upon you.

I’d listen as you poured out your soul and looking deeply into your brilliant eyes, I would hold you in a container of absolute love and acceptance.

When you had emptied yourself of your pain and disappointment, of your fear and anger, of your confusion…. knowing that you had the safety to let your burdens out – I would smile at you softly and I’d tell you with absolute certainty…

You are enough and all would be well.

And I would give you a hug- a real and true embrace that would infuse into your very being.. .You are not alone.

But since you are not here, it is my hope that my words would touch some ache within you and be a balm and inspire you. You are enough. All will be well. You are not alone. There is great love for you here.

I love you,

Namaste

hugs inspire

 

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join: http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT

The Hips Don’t Lie….Waist beads from the Masculine Perspective

Namaste waist beadsWe were walking through the store shopping – my wife reached up to get something off a shelf and I caught a brief glimpse of the iridescent fire of her waist beads around her hips.

She turned around and noticed my smile, her raised eyebrow and musical laugh letting me know without words that she felt my gaze upon her…and she loved it.

In that moment in particular I thought about how much I enjoy seeing them on her and wondered how many men are missing out on a fantastic opportunity to bring a similar type of magic into their own lives.

Bro – you NEED to gift your woman with some waist beads. Like yesterday.

First a little background on waist beads for those not in the know; The practice of women wearing waist beads as adornment originated in Africa about 500BC – which means that the wearing of waist beads is not a new ‘fad’ or something that just occurred yesterday. Waist beads have been around for thousands of years and used by women the world over as a form of spiritual protection, to promote healthy pregnancies and birth, as a non-verbal form of sensual communication to one’s partner and hundreds of other reasons as well. Beautiful waist beads and feminine curves are literally made for each other.  There is nothing sexier than seeing my wife, Namaste walk through our bedroom with her curves draped in iridescent, delicate strands of femininity.

Your whole world will be graced with a deeper level of beauty and passion when you adorn your woman’s waist and hips with sets of waist beads. Here’s five reasons why:

1. She will look amazing… When I look at my wife one of the first things that I notice is how the delicate strands of beads draw attention to her softness and accentuate her natural curves. When a woman feels beautiful and feminine she is like the sun – she literally glows and the rays of her personal energy shine on all that she touches and everyone around her. Support her in her feminine power and beauty by taking an active interest in that process – not only are the waist beads beautiful, but every time she wears a set that you selected it will make her smile and think of you. Remember how AWESOME your world is when she’s smiling. Yes, a smiling woman is a Good Thing.

2. Versatility to match her mood or style…  Waistbeads can be worn in a number of different ways that can compliment her personal style and preference. They can be worn under her clothes to enhance her personal sense of beauty and femininity, or slightly exposed when paired with low-waist jeans, pants or short tops. They can be worn over her clothing like a belt or as ornamentation, or she can even wear them fully exposed with a bathing suit at the beach or pool.

IMAG1989_13. Amazing Metaphysical properties… When different crystals and gemstones are incorporated into the style of the waist beads, they transmit energy to the woman wearing them. My wife has different sets that she wears at different times to inspire creativity, passion and prosperity – the potential combinations are endless. Here’s a short list of different semi-precious stones and crystals and the energy that they bring to the wearer;

  • Malachite is green and promotes prosperity
  • Obsidian is black and is a good grounding stone and promotes feelings of safety
  • Carnelian is reddish orange color and promotes a strong and healthy libido and sensuality
  • Moonstone is white/iridescent – promotes calmness, feminine energy, peace
  • Rose Quartz ranges from pale pink to deep shades of rose and promotes healing the heart from pain and disappointment.
  • Lapis is blue and helps with opening of the third eye – promotes deep clarity, insight and intuition

These are only a tiny sampling of the many different crystals and stones that can be incorporated into a waist bead set.

4. Supercharge her sensuality…. The energy of the beads and their location on her body honor her sexuality. The delicate beauty of the waistbeads around the waist or worn down low around the hips possess intimate appeal and can provoke intense desire. The waist and hip area are especially intimate – unlike other ‘social’ areas of the body, a woman’s waist-to-hip area is seldom seen by the general public and rarely touched casually.  A gift of waist beads for your woman is an amazingly personal and thoughtful gesture – the delicate caress of the beads in such an private and sensitive area of the body is a constant reminder of the intimacy that the two of you share. I can’t keep my hands off her when she has on her waist beads. (and she always has a set on, so YES I’m one of the happiest men that I know.) When we are out running errands and I put my arm around her, I can feel the stands of beads against her skin, hidden from view.  Hotness.

5. Celebrate her distinctive and unique taste…..Waist beads offer a unique combination of creativity, beauty and value that is unmatched by any other adornment that you can gift her with. If you go to a jeweler and purchase a ring, necklace or bracelet, the color, size and shape of the piece has already been determined in the mind of the jewelry designer and mass produced.  With custom waist beads this is never an issue. No two sets of beads are exactly alike. The waist bead sets that adorn your woman are a literal expression of YOU and can reflect your unique relationship and personality!

Namaste is a genius at combining various stones and crystals together in a beautiful arrangement of wearable art for the woman in your life!  Check out her Etsy Store at http://www.etsy.com/shop/DesiredThingz or for custom orders/questions you can email us at richardandnamaste@gmail.com

 

 

F*ck Consciousness

F*ck Consciousness

F*ck Consciousness

Here’s the Truth.

Fuck your ideas of consciousness.

They’ve stopped serving you long ago.

The mental masturbation as a substitute for sensation

Trying to live Relationship as the 99cent romance novel

you constructed in your head.

Learning techniques that show you intimacy without connection

A perversion of Love that places head above heart

Love is not neat and it’s not sterile

It wont be contained in your boxes

And in truth your discussions about what a “real man” is

or a

“real woman” is –

are nothing but your Ego screaming to be recognized.

For all of the intellectualizing, the philosophizing,

the cute memes and quippy sayings

Have you learned to love with all of you-  yet?

Have you fallen so deep and so hard it left you breathless – transformed?

Do you know how to Fucking commit?

Seriously commit?

To stand by in loyalty and devotion or have you lived the lie that Love is only about your newest shiny.

Have you learned to embrace your intrinsic worth

or are you constantly running seeking validation from yet another self-help guide, book and Guru?

Do you do the work?

Or are you merely quoting your favorite Youtube personality

Confusing reading O’s newest book of the month with True Education

Can you be free?

Or did you leave freedom on the altar of those who would sell you a superficial parody for $47.99 if you just act now.

Fuck Consciousness

Do you really need a bigger brain?

More psychology that will give you a name for every idiosyncratic behavior and then you can call that

“Special”.

What is your purpose?

To use Universal Laws as a means to gain pieces of paper

ones and zeros is what it’s all about

 Really?

Selling out your Divinity for a construct that’s not even REAL?

Fuck consciousness boo

Because you lost yourself

forgot your why

swallowed the lie

hook line and sinker.

It’s not about you gaining more things or perfection

Judging everyone you come in contact with by regurgitated

Phrases that you confuse with revelation.

When’s the last time you heard the Voice of God telling you to Throw Shade?

Your consciousness isn’t real it’s not true, it’s not clarity or Divine –

So fuck it – come learn to Live, to Love to Expand

And get out of your own mind.

~Namaste Moore

P.S – If you’d like a sacred container to hold you, love you, accept you as you Transform – I invite you to join:http://tinyurl.com/GetSOFT